#61 – Intentional Career Success: How to Look Up, Look Forward, & Identify What’s Next For You | Empowerment & Career Advice

[00:00:00] Loree Philip: Hi, and welcome to Daring to Leap. I'm your host, Loree Philip. Are your career moves a product of chance, or are you strategically steering towards a clear direction and purpose? Sit tight as our esteemed guest, Dr. Cynthia Benson Mertzer teaches us the power of intentional advancement and why serendipity just isn't enough.

[00:00:26] Loree Philip: Let's dive in.

[00:00:27] Loree Philip: Dr. Cynthia Benson Mertzer is a distinguished talent and organizational development strategist with over three decades of experience in the field of data science.

[00:00:36] Loree Philip: Of international executive leadership experience and is the co author and CEO of the Zeal of the Heel. Dr. Cynthia's expertise centers on her ability to actualize human potential, which is detailed in her book, Now, Near, Next, a practical guide for mid career women to move from [00:01:00] professional serendipity to intentional advancement.

[00:01:04] Loree Philip: Due out on March 19th. Welcome to the show, Cynthia.

[00:01:10] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Thank you, Laurie. So excited to be here.

[00:01:12] Loree Philip: Yes. Yes. I'm so excited to have you here and I love the idea of your book. So I can't wait for us to dig in and talk about some of the key messages, but first tell me a bit about your career journey. What.

[00:01:27] Loree Philip: What were you doing before you started a business and wrote a book?

[00:01:32] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Right. So my career, so my undergrads in b broadcasting and film. Mm-Hmm. So I originally thought that I was going to pursue journalism and retired Barbara Walters. But I had to pay the bills and so I found a job working in a commercial real estate business and kind of fell in love with business.

[00:01:55] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: I liked everything about. Going into the office, [00:02:00] negotiating deals. I had an amazing female mentor which was very rare at that time. We're talking mid to late eighties and we're talking commercial real estate, very male dominated. So it was really fortunate. At one point, they decided to create a training and development department.

[00:02:18] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And I thought, gosh, my broadcasting background, my knowledge of this industry would be such a great combination. And I fell into HR. And so I started on the training and development side, grew in, in those capacities, went on to another hospitality based company, HR. Ultimately in gaming and then finally healthcare.

[00:02:41] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: So had a lot of really exciting experiences to grow as an HR professional and ultimately expanded and had other departments and left my last corporate position as the chief administrative officer, but that was only. Seven months ago. So this zeal [00:03:00] of the heel and launching the book and all of those things, I am a brand new solopreneur.

[00:03:05] Loree Philip: Oh my goodness. I had no idea. Well, congratulations, Cynthia. That's amazing.

[00:03:11] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Thank you. Thank you. What was? 35 years.

[00:03:14] Loree Philip: Yeah. 35 years. I was trying to do the math. So after 35 years, you decided to leave and start your own business. What really got you to decide to make that leap, going from something very secure, very stable what you're doing to the unknown and, a bit uncomfortable.

[00:03:38] Loree Philip: what, what helped you decide to go forward

[00:03:42] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: and do that? So the short version is I was assisted in that. So I, my position at my last corporate position was eliminated in June. And, but here's, here's the plot twist, if you will, or maybe the [00:04:00] spoiler alert, as we, as we later talk about the book I had started writing the book back in January of 23, and it was really focused on this notion of being intentional and, and I know we'll talk about that, but in the book, as I journeyed through the teaching elements, it was really about my next, what.

[00:04:22] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Do I want to focus on and do next? I really saw my last position as my last corporate job. Mm-Hmm. . And in three to five years, I had the ambition to start a consulting practice, executive coaching author, additional books, public speaking. And so I cr created my blueprint. To what I thought would be three to five years from now, just as we were sending the book the manuscript to our editors in June, my position was eliminated in the organization and I, I went home that afternoon [00:05:00] and I thought, I, I have really one of two options.

[00:05:05] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: I either have to go find another C-Suite executive job. Immediately because I have another five plus years to work or because I had the blueprint, because I had articulated a next step, I could go for it and accelerate that plan. And so I did and scary, risky, I'm learning as I go, but I'll tell you the conviction for me around this notion of women looking up and looking forward.

[00:05:38] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And being intentional about what's next, has never been stronger because I really believe that it was at that critical point. Had I not had that blueprint, I would have had no other options or would have thought I didn't have any other options. Yeah,

[00:05:54] Loree Philip: or, I mean, in, in you, it just might've felt like you were starting from scratch if you still [00:06:00] had the idea, but you didn't have the plan yet.

[00:06:03] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: That's right.

[00:06:03] Loree Philip: this seems to happen quite frequently for people that decide to go and do like finally go do what they maybe thought about doing before is it was kind of forced in a sense where a door shut. And you could look at it a lot of ways you could be upset about it.

[00:06:24] Loree Philip: You could go find your next C suite job or you can lean into it. And it sounds like you've really leaned into it. And that, that can be quite exciting and quite scary as I know, having jumped out of my corporate gig after 16 years and. I, I wasn't as detailed as you, I, I didn't have a blueprint. I had a few ideas though.

[00:06:49] Loree Philip: And so we could go from there, but, let's shift a bit and talk about this idea of intentionality [00:07:00] and, shifting out of, I think most people. And so when we talk about things like this, we're not saying that people are doing it wrong or it's just that most people go with the flow of life.

[00:07:15] Loree Philip: I certainly did. We have a status quo of this is where I'm going. And you're just on this path, taking one step forward at a time. Without, I think, really refreshing the direction that you're going. Right? We're just going in the same direction. I graduated college. I got my first job. It was at a really amazing company.

[00:07:40] Loree Philip: I'm like, great. I'm set. And I'm just taking the next position, taking the next step, getting the promotion but I'm still walking on a path in a, in like a straightforward path. And I hadn't really thought up until the point that I did. Should [00:08:00] I kind of shift gears or maybe double down on this path or even just the extra step it takes to be intentional.

[00:08:10] Loree Philip: What to you we, we talk about intentionality in your career. What does that mean to you?

[00:08:17] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: So, and those are great reflections. We studied we had 30 qualitative interviews with highly successful professional women. And as we had these interviews and studied these women's backgrounds and experiences, one of the things that was thematic across 900 collective years of experience, four race ethnicities, five countries, and a way, an age band of 35 to about 58.

[00:08:46] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: The common through line is that they would say, well, I was lucky, or I was at the right place at the right time, or. They, they would give the credit of their wonderful success to [00:09:00] serendipity. And they all mentioned, I wasn't really intentional. I kind of did what you described, right? I was on this path and, and the path just kept moving forward.

[00:09:10] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And so we looked at it from studying success and we said, if we could bottle and package the things you did do intentionally or otherwise. And then. Be intentional about those things. Could we accelerate the path for a lot of women? Because not everybody is as fortunate, as blessed, as lucky, right place, right time.

[00:09:30] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: So how do we, how do we expand this? So that more women have these kinds of successes. And the other thing we found in the research, the qualitative and the quantitative research is that women are conditioned and you sort of alluded to this to look down, work hard and good things will happen. And to a person, we tend to be taking care of everyone else around us.

[00:09:52] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And so to today, still statistically women take on the lion's share of the household responsibilities, whether [00:10:00] they're raising children, caring for aging parents, lending their, their time and talent to the community. We tend to nurture everyone around us. And if you ask women. Who are the top five people that are the priorities of your time and attention?

[00:10:15] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: We don't put ourselves in that category. And so essentially what we mean by intentionality is Look up, look forward Identify what's next for you. It doesn't have to be tomorrow. It could be 18 months from now, it could be five years from now, but identify what is your next career milestone, but start working on it today.

[00:10:36] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Even if it's seven minutes a day, start working on it today. Not when the kids go off to kindergarten, not when the children graduate from college, not when all these other people are put in their proper places. But how do we put our mask on first and carve out a little bit of time every day toward Our aspirational next.

[00:10:55] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And so it seems to be resonating. Women are saying, gosh I [00:11:00] don't put myself in that category. I don't create that kind of intentionality. I do put my head down and sort of hope for the best. And for some women that works out great. And for a lot of women, they get passed over.

[00:11:13] Loree Philip: Yeah, a couple of things popped out to me as you were speaking about it is 1. I think you hit the nail on the head. I, most of us tend to focus in on the work and are not really thinking about ourselves in terms of what's our next few steps forward in our career and the missing pieces I was thinking about that people might be interested in hearing a little bit more around is What if I can understand what you're saying?

[00:11:45] Loree Philip: I should be more intangible. I don't really know what I want to do. So to me, it's understanding, having more clarity about what you want to do. And then also then finding that 7 minutes a day or the time to [00:12:00] prioritize it because. You kind of need both what are, what are some ideas or thoughts that you have around how we can, let's start with clarity, get more clarity around what are our intentions?

[00:12:14] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Right. So, so we unpacked the book in, in three sections. And so what you're really asking about this question is really that middle section. And that is how do I identify what is my next career milestone? And how do I create a plan? to get there. And so we unpack first of all, really being clear on your purpose, your values, your mission, your vision.

[00:12:40] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: A lot of us, work for organizations that have mission statements on the walls and values and all of that. And hopefully we're working for people that, that resonates. But very few of us have sat down and said, what are my professional values? What is my professional vision and my mission? And so we start there.

[00:12:58] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Then the second thing we do is we [00:13:00] really look at what are the skills and talents that are already in your toolkit. Because skills and knowledge can be taught, and so let's, we don't walk into a new opportunity without anything. So let's, let's catalog. What do we already bring in the way of skills and knowledge?

[00:13:16] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: What kinds of skills and knowledge do we need to continue to expand upon? And then the third thing we look at is natural gifts and talents. What are you naturally gifted and wired to do? You have a beautiful natural gift for communication, engaging an audience bringing people into storytelling.

[00:13:34] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: That's a gift and that's not necessarily everyone's gift. And we could teach other people to do that, but if it doesn't make their heart sing, if it doesn't give them intrinsic satisfaction, then It's probably not a job that would be a lot of fun and very giving. So we really start to get down to the essence of what matters to you and how are you wired so that in a perfect world, [00:14:00] your next career milestone is, feels more like a hobby, that you're getting paid to do what you love and you're naturally great at.

[00:14:09] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: So that's really the, the, the meat, if you will, of section two. You asked a really important question though, and that is how do we create the time in the first place, right? It sounds great. Sounds, yep, Cynthia, we get it. We're on board. We should figure out our next, but you know what? I have small children, or I have my parents living my aging parents are living with me, or, or, or.

[00:14:34] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And so the very first section is all about setting the table and creating the space. And it's, it's, it's work, right? But it's, it's largely around boundaries. And so we talk about boundaries professionally and we talk about boundaries personally. We talk about things like, do you really have to do everything at home?

[00:14:59] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Are there [00:15:00] others you could delegate to? I get it. We want to be the person that does a lot of the things, a lot of us hang on to the things you love. But could you delegate some of the things that Others could do. And then don't be a perfectionist about it, right? Let them do it their way and don't be judgy if they don't do it the way you did, you, you

[00:15:18] Loree Philip: would have done it.

[00:15:20] Loree Philip: Are you are you in my mind right now?

[00:15:23] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: You're like, wait a minute. Nobody can make a peanut butter jelly sandwich like I can. But, and so we talk a lot about boundaries, but we also talk about boundaries at work because women tend to be the ones statistically, this isn't a men bad, women good. This is reality and it shows up over and over in the data.

[00:15:42] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: We take on a lot of volume and sometimes it's not value. And so we're so willing to help people out or to be the go to person, what have you, that there are times that we need to create some boundaries around what we [00:16:00] take on that's above and beyond. The quality of our work and say, am I really adding value to my growth, my development, my success, or am I just taking on volume and that's taking me away from work and things.

[00:16:14] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: So in a, in a very concise nutshell, you have to create the room first. To be unapologetic and guilt free about investing in yourself. And then we unpack and explore, okay, what is that investment? How do we create intentionality around that?

[00:16:31] Loree Philip: Yeah, it's all of these topics are so, so, so important. And.

[00:16:39] Loree Philip: You're right, we have to create the space to start having these conversations with ourselves around values, gifts, talents. What do I want to do next? These types of things, because you don't want to do that in a super crazy. Frantic, stressful state, you won't, it [00:17:00] won't be easy because you'll be shut down and you'll be distracted and you'll be blocked.

[00:17:05] Loree Philip: So creating the space and the, I think everybody, I don't know a single person that couldn't, do better with boundaries. Well, for women, I, I don't really follow guys that much. I'm, I feel like they don't have any problems saying no, but that's, that's just the, the sense of it. But there is a bit around, I like how you put it volume versus value we take on the volume.

[00:17:33] Loree Philip: We also don't let things go. Like, we don't reflect and say. Okay, I don't have to keep doing this anymore. So then we're just stacking, stacking, stacking, stacking, and no wonder we get burnt out. Right? And we don't feel like we have space to be intentional, which is, it's true. You probably don't have space to be intentional.

[00:17:56] Loree Philip: And so that is a valid concern and why. [00:18:00] I am assuming Cynthia, you started off your book from that perspective. Okay. You don't have time. Let's create some time. That's right.

[00:18:08] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And we look at it from time, talent, treasure, and just saying no. And so think about it this way and as your audience sort of reflects personally, there are times in our life where we have, we can offer our talents, but we don't have the treasure.

[00:18:25] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And we don't have the time. And so the example I would offer is, when my children were young as a career mom who traveled and so on but also still building my, my wealth and total compensation, et cetera, I didn't have money to write a check for, for things, but I also didn't have time to be present in the schools.

[00:18:47] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: But what I could do is I could offer talent outside of the school day after work. There were other times in my life where.

[00:18:56] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: You know what, it was easier for me to pen a check for [00:19:00] 25 and give it to the teacher and let them put it toward the school supplies or whatever they needed rather than having to go figure out when I was going to be able to get to Target and pick up the supplies and bring them in.

[00:19:13] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And I think that there's women should really think about. How can I give up if I feel compelled to give up myself, maybe there's alternative ways versus having to put all three things or always show up for everything.

[00:19:29] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And then when is it okay just to say no, not now. No, thank you. Yeah.

[00:19:34] Loree Philip: Yeah, that that is a great perspective. It is getting past this idea that we have to be all to everyone all the time. And I like how you brought in, seasons of life, just like when your kids are newborns and or toddlers is probably not the best time to go for that.

[00:19:57] Loree Philip: Brand new really stretch [00:20:00] assignment that you have to put in, a lot of upfront work just, just to get settled when it's okay to say not right now. And I think it comes back to valuing your own time and valuing yourself and where you are and letting that be enough, like you are enough. Where you are right now, and you can pick and choose how you would like to give and it doesn't always need to be time.

[00:20:29] Loree Philip: And so I appreciate that perspective. Cynthia around what else could I do? Because it sometimes we just. Default to time, like I need to be the room mom. I, and I, I will confess, I have no desire to be the room mom. Right. And I try not to feel guilty about it, but it's just not my, it's not something I want to do.

[00:20:50] Loree Philip: And it's not my gift. I, I would probably drop the ball. And so, you know, kind of thinking through. All of the [00:21:00] different pieces and where, where, where can I contribute that would be best served for everybody, including myself, right? I think that's the key. We need to include ourselves in this equation on what's best.

[00:21:13] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: That's right. And then, and then embrace, I made that choice because instead of it says really embracing grace, right? Instead of feeling regret and failure about something, I made that choice because I made that choice because it isn't where, It isn't my gift, and I wouldn't be as, offer as much quality as somebody who loved doing that.

[00:21:38] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: But there's other ways that I can contribute, that, that are ways to give back. And I made that choice because I think that was the best for me. And that was the best for the school or the whatever it might be. We so often live in this we're not enough. We didn't do enough. We're not enough at home and we're not enough at work.

[00:21:58] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And so how do we. [00:22:00] Embrace grace and accept our choices and a positive mindset. Mm hmm.

[00:22:07] Loree Philip: Yeah. Yeah. I think part of it comes back to intentionally choosing and we're talking about intentionality when you, instead of just defaulting to feeling like you dropped the ball, you didn't volunteer, you're not doing it, actually choosing and saying, I, you know what, I'm not going to do it.

[00:22:27] Loree Philip: And using your language because. And remind yourself that right? And decide let yourself off the hook a bit. I, I do, I, I love this idea of how much power there is in decision making and making choices because it feels different when you. Intentionally decided to not do it versus it just like fell through the cracks and that's a, it's actually a big difference between the 2 mindsets and just the [00:23:00] different feelings

[00:23:01] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: around it, right?

[00:23:03] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: It's really about energizing yourself agency. It's just giving, giving energy to yourself agency and because it's you're taking control.

[00:23:13] Loree Philip: Oh, yeah, yeah. And I know you talk about self agency in the book as well, right? What, I love self agency. I feel like a lot of the time, we don't feel like we have control or we have the power to decide or to, to choose.

[00:23:34] Loree Philip: And, It's everything. Like I felt when I felt boxed in, I was so miserable, right? It's like, I just wanted to be free. And so talk to me, Cynthia, about self agency and what can we do for ourselves or what are your suggestions around how we can cultivate that a bit more for

[00:23:56] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: ourselves part of it is just putting.[00:24:00]

[00:24:00] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Our dreams and aspirations into the universe. So I talked about three sections, section three is really around how do you create an infrastructure around yourself to help move you towards your goal? None of us have to do this alone, but if we don't put our aspirations into the universe and nobody knows that our next goal is to.

[00:24:23] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Accomplish this certification or that degree or write a book or be promoted or whatever it might be, then we don't have advocates, right? We're, we're sort of going it alone. And I think we do that out of fear. I think we do that out of, gosh, if I tell somebody. I'm going to embark on writing a book. Who am I to think I can be an author, right?

[00:24:43] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: The self doubt, the imposter syndrome that shows up in that. But we have so much to offer. And when you start to seek out those sponsors and let people know that you trust that know what you're capable of, that have seen [00:25:00] your, your, Value and your worth and you tell those individuals, Hey, this is, this is something I'm aspiring toward in the next 18 months, three years, five years, what have you, those are the people that are the voices in the room when you're not there.

[00:25:15] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: So those are the individuals that say. Lori would be really great at that and my understanding is that she has an aspiration to do this and so. We had to consider adding her to that committee or seeing if she'd like to be a part of that assignment, what have you. So part of self agency is speaking up in the first place.

[00:25:35] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: It's, it's, don't give your voice to others by remaining silent. We use the metaphor of being on a merry go round we get on the merry go round at mid career. Around 28 years old and mid career three decades. So we're there another 30 years and points along the way we look up and we're kind of like, why am I still on this same [00:26:00] horse going in circles?

[00:26:01] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Why? Lots of other people have left the merry go round and here I go, I'm going around for another spin and we're like, you know what? Make a plan. To get off the merry go round, know the next ride. You need a bigger amusement park. So figure out what that is and look up and put a plan in place for how you're going to get to that next spot and then tell people about it.

[00:26:24] Loree Philip: Oh, goodness. I was on the same horse on the merry go round for so long. And you know what? And that's okay for free for people, as long as that we're aware of it. Right? And we see, you know what? I like being on this horse. It's a great horse. If it's serving you, then it's fine. But if it's not, if you're starting to question, if you really want to move forward faster, or, In a more clear way towards, and this is where I want to go.

[00:26:58] Loree Philip: Cynthia is back to [00:27:00] we were talking about intentionality and when you were explaining all the different pieces to it on, what are your values? What are you good at? pulling all those pieces together and what I really love about that conversation. Is it when you when we're talking about what's that next step in your career?

[00:27:19] Loree Philip: We're not saying. What's the next step? Everybody else is saying you should do in your career because left to our own devices and not really thinking it through. That's where we'll be that next promotion or maybe taking that next step up at a different company or looking at the shoulds and what society is telling us.

[00:27:41] Loree Philip: But how amazing would it be to. Take the time to think, wow, that next position could be something that I love, something that I'm great at, something that really lights me up and, and just knowing what that is and kind of [00:28:00] setting that out there as a goal is so powerful. What, what are some of the other things that we might be, have missed so far on this topic of setting that next step for

[00:28:11] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: for an individual?

[00:28:13] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: I think part of it is there's, there's a, there's a level of risk taking. It's much safer to stay on that same horse. It can feel really isolating if you're the only one, especially if you're the only woman trying to make that move. The other thing is, women get very nervous. And there's a reason about this notion of, is it self promoting or is it self actuating?

[00:28:40] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Mm hmm. If I put my interests out into the universe, if I start working toward my next milestone, whatever that may be. Does that somehow send this message that I think I'm better than others, or I think I'm more capable or more worthy of that next [00:29:00] position than others? Our male counterparts do not do that.

[00:29:03] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: I mean, that is, that is foreign. They are, they are looking up, they're looking forward, they're driving to the next the, the next aspiration. And frankly, men are pretty collegial. Men are pretty fraternal. They're sort of supporting each other and But, but here's the thing. And I was on another podcast recently and I said that the differences men can throw a rock and they're going to hit a position that they're willing to stick their neck out for whether they're fully qualified or not.

[00:29:36] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And they've got men rounding them that have a shared life experience that are smacking them on the back and tell them to go for it. Women live in a scarcity mindset very often. Instead of an abundance mindset, we see the one job that we're vying for. We can be very competitive with one another and very hard on one [00:30:00] another as we're trying to clamor toward that, that one position.

[00:30:03] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And we don't always have a lot of female role models as we accelerate up the career ladder, if you will, to. Watch and seek guidance from and have sponsorship from etc. And so it sort of creates this culture that can be really dysfunctional. Our feeling is focus on you, focus on your journey. Your journey, you and and I might be both interested in the same next steps, but it My focus needs to be on how do I ready myself?

[00:30:39] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: How do I continue to develop and grow toward that just as yours is and not in competition with one another and then elevate and shine a light for other women. So we, we spend a lot of time talking about both focus on you. But also be a light and, and be a [00:31:00] guide and be a supporter of other women who are trying to do the same thing because we're a whole lot stronger together when we are linking arms and moving this forward than we are when we are competing with.

[00:31:13] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Against one another in this sort of rat race.

[00:31:16] Loree Philip: women empowering women is one of the themes on this podcast for sure, because

[00:31:24] Loree Philip: lifting each other up. Is the way into your point, I think your example clarifies this so much because it's not a super easy path for for a lot of women. There are a lot of barriers. there's less support in a lot of cases, less role models.

[00:31:44] Loree Philip: So why, why, why put even more in the way for ourselves? Why not lock arms and move forward together? And I think, I think we're really turning the corner in this area in a lot [00:32:00] of ways. And it, it does, I think part of it does go back to, the scarcity versus abundance mindset. If you feel like there's only 1 position and you really want it.

[00:32:12] Loree Philip: And you're in that place of if, if I don't get it or like there's a lack mentality around it, whereas if you feel like, you know what, if I don't get this position, there'll be other positions and I can go over here. I can go over there. And I'm just, I, I, I feel really strong in, in my capabilities and, and what I can.

[00:32:34] Loree Philip: Put forward in terms of value that I have a lot of options, and I think that's where we need to grow as women is on our own. This goes back to the confidence and self worth and I'm good enough and, men are throwing their names in the hat and they have 10 25 percent of the qualifications.

[00:32:58] Loree Philip: That says something because [00:33:00] I'm not putting myself out there unless I'm 95 percent and I know somebody's gonna be on the interview panel, you know what I mean? That's right. It is such a big difference. Yeah. Well,

[00:33:11] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: women over index on performance and men over index on potential, we feel that we have to master something before we move forward.

[00:33:20] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: And men are like fake it till you make it. And so that's why, that's why it's so important that we inventory our skill and knowledge, but we also really understand natural talent because that's where we can develop that potential. And that's where we can, if we're going to bet on ourselves, first of all, I think it's the best.

[00:33:36] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: That you can make. And second of all, we bet on our potential. We can learn skills and knowledge. Our potential is where we show up uniquely. We do spend some time talking about confidence. We lean into imposter syndrome and, and ways to change that negative self talk. how do you repurpose those thoughts and that mental model?

[00:33:57] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Some of that, which is from social [00:34:00] norms, cultural norms agreeing. Right. And so some more than others have, have to really work at changing that narrative to say, I am enough and I am capable. But I'll tell you again, and I'm so convicted to this, it gets back to having a plan. It gets back to intentionality coming full circle on June 26th.

[00:34:24] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: If I had not had Formalized some kind of what the path would look like, and I would have been starting from scratch from square one to thinking about starting my own business. I promise you, Lori, I would not have done it. It would have been far too overwhelming. It would have been far too scary. I've been a corporate person for 35 years.

[00:34:47] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: I've always had great brands around me. The idea that I would be going it alone. It was unimaginable, but because I had been journeying with a plan and because I had [00:35:00] it articulated I was like, okay I've I've ticked some of these boxes already the manuscripts going to the publisher And I have my executive coaching certification and all right.

[00:35:12] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: So now I just need to accelerate these things That was a whole lot more Exciting to me than thinking I may have to go back into the corporate grind and start all over at the stage of my life at 56 years old That sounded exhausting. So, and there's times in life where that's not, I'm at a different season, but I would, but. But. Take that, that example and move it to any season of life and insert your name here, rather than waiting for the, the door to shut, as you said earlier, a spouse or significant other is relocated.

[00:35:50] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: You have to start over, there's a layoff, you're starting over. There's, there's so many things in life, life is messy. And our very last chapter, we really focus [00:36:00] on resilience. We focus on how are you being good to yourself holistically.

[00:36:03] Loree Philip: Yeah. Yeah. There's so much there and we can talk and talk for hours, I think.

[00:36:08] Loree Philip: I love this idea though, on intentionality, crafting your plan, taking the time. Once you found it, once you find some time, prioritize yourself and really lean into what you, that next step might look like for you. And, and the last thing I'll say before we wrap this up, Cynthia, is that there's something really powerful about putting your intention on paper, whether it's in a plan, in a journal, because now your mind.

[00:36:44] Loree Philip: We'll start to see things in the world that align with that idea like if you don't know that you actually want this type of a job for your next step you won't see those openings when they pop up but now that it's on your [00:37:00] radar. You'll start to see it and you'll start to see the pieces come together.

[00:37:05] Loree Philip: So I think that's a really smart, first step is to start to get clear and put that together. And it doesn't need to be a 10 year plan or anything like that. Just, just what one, one step one idea. That's right. So as we close out, Cynthia, where can our listeners. connect with you, learn more about your book, buy your book.

[00:37:31] Loree Philip: Where can they

[00:37:32] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: find you? Yes. So, uh, now near next practical guide for mid career women to move from professional serendipity to intentional advancement. You can, there's a couple things I'd love to offer, so you can find the book on Amazon. Barnes and Noble. Barnes and Noble, wherever books are sold.

[00:37:50] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Also, if you go to our website at www dot zeal of the Heel Heel, like a shoe, HEEL. Dot com. You [00:38:00] can buy the book there and up until our publication date. So it's in presale up until our publication date, we're offering 600 worth of free bonuses. So your listeners will get a masterclass, they'll get invited to a webinar, they'll get invited to be part of our LinkedIn community.

[00:38:16] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: So would love for just the retail price of 28, they get 600 worth of investment in education and training. The other thing is you mentioned writing things down and we're big fans of that. So there's two things we offer for free that they can go get today on that same website. There is a mid career audit where it's 20 questions.

[00:38:38] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: It takes less than four minutes and it'll kind of give you a sense of how intentional are you being and the now near next blueprint, you can download a copy and start putting pen to paper today. So both of those things are free on the website, zealoftheheal. com.

[00:38:55] Loree Philip: Great. And we'll, we'll put a link to the website in the show notes.

[00:38:58] Loree Philip: It'll be super easy for [00:39:00] people to find it. And I really appreciate you Cynthia for sharing your story, but also all this important information that I think, we, we miss we don't take the time to focus in on ourselves and, and it's so important. So I really appreciate you bringing a lot of awareness to that and, and bringing it forward with the book.

[00:39:23] Loree Philip: So exciting.

[00:39:25] Cynthia Benzen-Mercer: Thank you so much, Laurie. It has been such a pleasure. I really appreciate you and the time today.

[00:39:29] Loree Philip: Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you've enjoyed it, I would love for you to subscribe. If you're already a subscriber, don't forget to share the podcast with a friend. Make sure to tune in next week. We will be speaking with Michelle Pollack about why success often doesn't feel as good as it looks and what we can do about it. I hope you have an amazing week. It's your time to shine. Bye.