#65 – How to Empower Your Voice: A Guide From Fear to Fearless and Authentic Expression | Empowerment & Career Advice

[00:00:00] Loree Philip: Hi, and welcome to Daring to Leap. I'm your host, Loree Philip. What would your life be like if you could freely express yourself, say what you mean, and ask for what you truly want? Stay with us as Shea Sparks, a fearless living coach, guides us into the heart of what it means to truly express our voice, to break the chains of silence that have held us back, and to step into our, power with confidence and courage.

[00:00:33] Loree Philip: Let's dive in.

[00:00:34] Loree Philip: Sha sparks is an energetic catalyst and fearless communicator who sparks leaders to find, use, and share their voice through coaching podcasts and publications so they can go from fear to fired up about their life and business.

[00:00:52] Loree Philip: She hosts multiple podcasts, including her signature podcast called the Shea Spark Show. She's the author of How to Get Your [00:01:00] Voice Back, is a certified fearless living coach and trainer, and a master practitioner of NLP. Welcome to the show, Shea.

[00:01:09] Sha Sparks: Thank you, Lori, for having me. I'm, I'm excited to be here and add so much value.

[00:01:14] Sha Sparks: Yeah,

[00:01:15] Loree Philip: I am. I'm excited to have this conversation with you. So we're going to talk about how to find our voice, how to get our voice back. And it is a topic near and dear to my heart, and I will tell you why when we get there. But First, I want to know what happened, how did you get to decide and become a fearless living coach?

[00:01:41] Loree Philip: Hmm.

[00:01:42] Sha Sparks: So it kind of goes into my backstory, which it's going to take years to go over, but the quick version is I was in an abusive relationship. And when I got out I started to peel away the layers of the onion than I am that we all are and really started to take time to [00:02:00] heal. Yeah. Cool. And at the time I was I was a salon owner and I had, I was a hair stylist and I had lots of clients that I would share with like, Oh my gosh, you're never going to believe what I learned about myself today.

[00:02:13] Sha Sparks: I am sarcastic. I don't really say what I mean, mean what I say. I am. Scared to really speak my truth and be authentic in what's going on with me. So I'm a people pleaser and I just kind of go along with the flow and walk on eggshells so not to disturb anyone, which I had learned actually stemmed from childhood, not just the previous.

[00:02:36] Sha Sparks: relationship. And so they're like, Oh my gosh, so what do you do about it now that you know this? And I said, well, the key is to practice being vulnerable and actually saying what you mean, mean what you say and not say it meanly and just be able to Speak your truth. What's really going on with you and do it from a place of unselfishness where I feel [00:03:00] rather than blame or shame, like you're pointing the finger of you did this to me.

[00:03:05] Sha Sparks: So I would share that with them. And then four to six weeks, they would go away and come back for their next appointment. And they're like, oh my gosh, because of what you said. My relationship shifted with my team at work or my boss or my kids, my spouse, my parents, whoever, and then they would say, you're really good at this.

[00:03:25] Sha Sparks: Like, have you considered becoming a coach or starting a podcast, writing a book? And I was like, well, I mean, kind of on the back of my head, I would love to do all those things. But to be honest, my, my own thought process about it was I. I can't do that. Who am I to do that? And so after them kept speaking life into me for so long, I thought, well what if I just borrow their confidence in me and said, well, the, what's the worst thing that can happen?

[00:03:55] Sha Sparks: I learn a new skill. And that's kind of on the road [00:04:00] to finding out who to get certified through. And I just happened to stumble upon fearless living. I met the CEO at another conference for our website and her and I were talking and I said, well, I'm a communication coach. And she's like, Oh, where'd you get certified through?

[00:04:15] Sha Sparks: And I said, Oh, I'm not certified. And she's like, Oh, And I said do you, do you think I should be certified? She's like, well, I have a certification program. I'm like, oh, okay, well tell me about it. And she said, well, it's a year long program. And I immediately went a year. And then my next thought was, well I'm going to be a year older anyway.

[00:04:34] Sha Sparks: Why not invest in me? And that's just kind of led that, let, open the door to that thought process of what happens when we invest in ourselves. It naturally overflows onto our family life and business. And that's what continued to happen. I became a certified fearless living coach then a trainer and now a master [00:05:00] practitioner in neuro linguistic programming.

[00:05:01] Sha Sparks: And And it's all about language, like how do we communicate with ourselves? What is that voice in our head telling us to do? Is it hurting us or helping us? Mm hmm.

[00:05:11] Loree Philip: Wow. Well, thank you for sharing that story, Shea. There's so much there. I really love how when you didn't quite have the confidence in yourself to make that next shift that you borrowed it from others.

[00:05:26] Loree Philip: And I can remember times in my career where, for whatever reason, someone else Saw something in me that I didn't see and said, you should do this. And I'm like, what I, are you sure you talking to me? And when we don't have that faith yet in ourselves, that self belief yet is so useful when somebody else does, and it's just seize on it.

[00:05:54] Loree Philip: And to notice, so there are so many signs in your path. Pointing [00:06:00] you in this direction, whether it was your clients that, that were telling you, Hey, how do you do it? You're good at this. And then to actually make the leap, you had to kind of borrow that self belief, right? Absolutely. So. In your experience now let's fast forward to now, and you have quite a bit of experience in this area.

[00:06:21] Loree Philip: What do you think is stopping us from expressing our voice? And saying what we mean

[00:06:31] Sha Sparks: fear, right? I mean, so it all goes back to fear, which is why I chose the path of fearless living. Because most of our life we are, we have fear show up and we don't even know that it's happening. So for an example, I, I learned through going through the coaching program that I had this thought, I knew I had negative thoughts in my head and I would, that's a whole nother [00:07:00] story on how to capture them and journal them out and change them.

[00:07:03] Sha Sparks: But what I didn't realize is how. They were not empowering me. So one of the things that I would be worried about if I was to do something out of my comfort zone is for someone to say, Oh, who do you think you are? Like I'm being fake. I'm not being honest. I'm being, I'm lying that way. And even or thinking I'm stupid that I didn't have it all together that I didn't know all the answers.

[00:07:31] Sha Sparks: And oftentimes we. There's one thing that stands out more than the other. It could be incompetent. It could be stupid. It could be weak. It could be, that were a fake. And so once I figured that out, it was like, Oh God, it's, I can see it so often in other people now just by hearing the conversations and we don't even realize it's going on, but it's like this.

[00:07:55] Sha Sparks: underlying tone in the things and how we answer [00:08:00] something like, like when someone sees something in you and you say, Oh, I could never, or whatever, whatever, how you respond to that, right? A lot of times our language has an underlying, tone to it on what it's really saying about you. And that stems from fear, which stems from our past experiences all the way back to childhood.

[00:08:23] Sha Sparks: As a lot of our past things that happened in our, our childhood determines. How we make decisions today. So if we're not moving forward, if we're not taking that leap, it's because somewhere along the line, fear had showed up to say, when we take leaps, people laugh at us, or when we take leaps, people think we're stupid.

[00:08:48] Sha Sparks: Or when we take leaps, people think we're blank. And that is what's really important on capturing your thought is to really find what it is the thing that is holding you [00:09:00] back in your language to yourself so that you can really find out from the fear basis. When did that first show up for you? And a lot of times it happens around sometimes it's teenagers, sometimes it's around seven and younger and our childhood experiences shape our adult decisions.

[00:09:19] Sha Sparks: So how can you go back at with a new set of eyes, adult eyes. And maybe talk to your seven year old self. Maybe that's a conversation you need to like imagine in your head. Maybe it's something you journal out. Maybe it's something you need to go see an energy practitioner for, which is something I also do as Reiki to be able to clear that away, do meditations on it, do some forgiveness work.

[00:09:45] Sha Sparks: And maybe you need to forgive yourself on believing whatever the person told you at that stage of life, that you've continued to carry it with you. Daily. And that's what's holding you back ever since.

[00:09:58] Loree Philip: Yeah. Yeah. [00:10:00] It's applicable for so many things that we hold our ourselves back on. And in this conversation, we're going to a little bit hyper focus in on holding back our voice, holding back speaking and what made me think of my own childhood.

[00:10:19] Loree Philip: And because this has been an issue for me and, I don't know if I mentioned to you before, Shea. I might have, but I started this podcast to find my voice. Yeah. To let go of that fear. And this

[00:10:35] Sha Sparks: is why we spirits, by the way. I

[00:10:37] Loree Philip: know, I know. I was like, I, I knew I, I needed to know Shea and when I was a child.

[00:10:45] Loree Philip: Somewhere along the way, I just remember shutting myself down over and over and over again, and I was definitely people pleasing. I was definitely walking on eggshells, kind of the peacemaker [00:11:00] in my family and in my day to day experience. And over the years. I just got really comfortable not speaking my truth, not talking about how I felt, just suppressing my feelings.

[00:11:15] Loree Philip: And I think we, when we did talk about this, when I would get into one of those situations where I felt really uncomfortable and I would just go mute. I would just like a confrontation, a really I just, Didn't have words to come out of my mouth and so when we look back and we're analyzing, where does this stem from part of it isn't.

[00:11:43] Loree Philip: It's certainly not to feel ashamed about it. It's certainly not to judge about it. It's certainly not to, beat ourselves up about it. Now, there's so much power in awareness and seeing it. And you, you said it so [00:12:00] beautifully and sort of just looking at it, open eyes as who you are today, which is an adult so much more further along in your path than you were when you were a child or a teenager, when whatever happened came up that caused you to start to shut down.

[00:12:21] Loree Philip: Your voice and so as we start to peel this back Sha, if listeners are, are thinking about, okay, I did start to do this, like, I'm going to maybe start to notice that. What is the next step? I mean, awareness is 1st is a good 1st step. We noticed that we're not saying what we mean. We were holding back and in a lot of cases, it's years of conditioning that we're going to try to undo.

[00:12:49] Loree Philip: Right? So talk to me about what we can do to start peeling back those layers and I'm doing that conditioning and dipping our toe in the water of [00:13:00] vulnerability.

[00:13:00] Sha Sparks: Well, before we even dip our toe, I think there's another layer after the awareness that is so crucial that most people I think skip over. But for my own.

[00:13:13] Sha Sparks: Walk it. I didn't even know it was part of it, but it was just so crucial. And I mentioned a little bit ago, it's that forgiveness piece. Yes. So there, I made a list of all the people who ever made me mad or, or even kind of, Pissed me off just a tiny bit. I made a list of people I was upset with, holding a grudge towards.

[00:13:33] Sha Sparks: I didn't even realize how many people there were. And I was driving to work one day and I was listening to Christian radio and the pastor on there said, do you have a list of people you're angry at? And I went, Oh my God, that's what I need. I need a list. And so I go and find a, an Fast food napkin in my console and unfold it like 15 times and start writing and I'm like, oh my gosh I filled up the front and the back of [00:14:00] this napkin and realized oh my gosh.

[00:14:02] Sha Sparks: I have this huge list Now, what do I do with it? And then I took a day Where I just surrounded myself with all my comfort foods all the junk food all the things that you know We normally don't eat but I was like, you know what if I'm gonna throw myself a pity party I'm gonna have a tea party Damn good one.

[00:14:17] Sha Sparks: And so I sat with my journal and my foods and I just would write a What right to this person on the first person on the list and be like, this is what I really want to say to you around this situation, all the words, cuss words and all, and then say, I forgive you. Will you forgive me? And then because I'm a spiritual person, I asked God, will you forgive me?

[00:14:43] Sha Sparks: And then I moved on to the next person and this took all day. And lots of peanut M& M's and I was going to say a lot of snacks. Yeah. A lot of snacks. And I did this and at the time I didn't even really realize how angry I [00:15:00] had been because I had been quieted for so long. I was about mid thirties at this point in my life.

[00:15:08] Sha Sparks: And I was like, man, I am not happy. And it's because. I was doing it to myself, but I didn't realize how much needed to come out. And so when I figured out I was angry and I did this exercise, it was as if this magical veil kind of just lifted off of my shoulders, this weight that had been weighing me down of anger.

[00:15:28] Sha Sparks: And I was like, wow, that's what it feels like to be free. Got it. So now that the forgiveness piece was out of the way, it was more about really taking stock in what is it that I need to know that I don't know in order to move forward. So that was for me, the practice of being vulnerable. How can I step out of my comfort zone in a safe way and verbalize [00:16:00] what's going on with me?

[00:16:01] Sha Sparks: So I would go put myself in networking events that I didn't go to normally and I would walk in And I would say, I'm new here at, I can say that clearly now at the time I would almost whisper it like, I'm new here. I don't know what I'm doing. Like I could never have said, I don't know what I'm doing in a sentence.

[00:16:21] Sha Sparks: Like I was trying to pretend this whole facade like I got to get together. No one knows what's going on. I didn't even ever talk to anyone that I was being abused when I was in it until afterwards and all, and then they would be like, you, and I'm like, yeah, I know. I held it all together.

[00:16:36] Sha Sparks: Tried to do anyway. Because I just had this, realization that in order to be vulnerable, we have to allow ourselves to be comfortable being uncomfortable and allow ourselves to be the imperfect, imperfect. Place that we are rather than trying to be perfect. So I am a recovered perfectionist [00:17:00] and workaholic and many other things because we have to let that go.

[00:17:05] Sha Sparks: And with the forgiveness piece, the other thing is we have to forgive ourselves. For not speaking up. And once I was able to do all that, and this takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of time. There's just something, this freedom that shows up that you're like, wow, when I say what's really going on with me, like, Hey, I'm not okay.

[00:17:26] Sha Sparks: I was just working with a client recently about she's been telling everyone she's okay. She's had five miscarriages in the last four years and she's still telling people she's okay. And I said, but you're not okay. And she goes, I know that. And I said, so when are you going to start telling other people?

[00:17:40] Sha Sparks: And she said, I can't do that. And I said, so you're going to continue to lie to everyone. And she's like, I'm not a liar, Sha. And I said, unfortunately you are, and she's not doing it intentionally. It's that's how strong fear is, is that we will even. lie to [00:18:00] the people in our home that loves us the most. A simple thing that says, I'm not okay.

[00:18:07] Sha Sparks: And that's when I knew that what I do and what I was going through. And when I would share that with people and that gave them permission to go, got it. I can tell my, my husband that I'm not okay. Or my boss that I'm not okay. That is. I mean, what a gift. And that's when I knew that everything that I had gone through in that, that traumatic experience, my traumatic life childhood has now become a treasure because we can turn around for good and help other people to break through it.

[00:18:40] Sha Sparks: Yeah.

[00:18:41] Loree Philip: Thank you for sharing that especially about the forgiveness and, it's really important work and it's hard to look at it. And go through it. But if you think about it, even conceptually, if you spent years or any individual spent years. [00:19:00] Not expressing feelings that they felt, holding them back, shutting them down.

[00:19:07] Loree Philip: What better way to move forward than let it out in a safe way? Yeah. And what you'll find, and Sha can back me up here, but what you'll find is that The world doesn't end, and you'll start to notice as you be, become more vulnerable or you go through forgiveness, there's so much power in doing it because your body sees that it is safe to do it.

[00:19:33] Loree Philip: Yeah. When you can do it in, in, in a safe way as possible and, and then it becomes a little easier and then a little easier, and then a little easier. The other thing I want to just connect the dots on a bit before we talk about leaning more into vulnerability is, we're talking about personal examples a lot here in childhood, in relationships and [00:20:00] close friendships, family, things like that.

[00:20:03] Loree Philip: But we, as individuals can't really, we, we don't compartmentalize where, you I could be shutting down my voice my whole life. And then all of a sudden that work, I'm just amazing at saying how I feel. I am amazing at tapping into my inner voice. I'm amazing at, you can maybe do a little bit better if you try, but there is.

[00:20:26] Loree Philip: Almost like I'm turning on a faucet and it will spill out into everything that you do. So if you're finding yourself and maybe you, you're not using your voice, you'd like to tap it in into it more in the workplace. It could be from personal experiences that's holding you back. And so you have to kind of look at the whole picture.

[00:20:51] Loree Philip: What are you? What are your thoughts on

[00:20:52] Sha Sparks: that shape? Yeah, well it goes back to, there's things in our childhood. Well, there could also be things in our. Professional [00:21:00] lives are jobs that a boss reprimanded us because we spoke up in a meeting when we shouldn't have, or, or who knows what the scenario will be.

[00:21:09] Sha Sparks: Right. So now we're to the point where we're like mid career and we're like, okay, you know what? I deserve more. I want more. I am looking for something more meaningful. What if you, how often do you ask for a raise? How often do you ask for maybe your position to be shifted? How often do you go, you know what?

[00:21:31] Sha Sparks: I think I could start a business. All of that really is like. That's your, that all starts from your inner voice. How are you talking to yourself? How are you empowering yourself in order to work your way up to having those conversations with another person? It goes back to are we hurting ourselves? Are we helping ourselves?

[00:21:51] Sha Sparks: Are we empowering or disempowering? So if you are carrying something from childhood, It could be stopping you in your professional life. Absolutely. [00:22:00] So now you think, okay, so now I want to have now we'll say that now I want to take the leap to start a business. I've been doing so great at work. I'm at the highest peak I can get.

[00:22:13] Sha Sparks: I, I work with a lot of clients that are leaders in that position. They're like, I am at the highest peak. I'm an employee. I've done great. I've had all the accolades and I want something more. And I think I want to become an entrepreneur. I think I want to start my own business. And yet there's this fear that's holding me back.

[00:22:29] Sha Sparks: It's like, great. So tell me what it is that you say to yourself. And a lot of times it could be, well, it could be, well, I'm not good enough. I'm not actually good enough at the thing that's holding me. I'm not good enough at starting a business. So whatever it is that you're saying to yourself, then they, for me, again, it goes back to what you just said, Lori, is the, Awareness piece.

[00:22:52] Sha Sparks: So what is it that you're actually saying to yourself and writing that down? And it can be in the professional context. However, I would also look at it [00:23:00] as where else in your life are you saying that maybe you're not actually being authentic and honest with other people in your life, but now you're like, I want to ask my boss for a raise and how do you go about that and be able to talk about yourself?

[00:23:18] Sha Sparks: Cause I know for most women, men. Tend to not have a problem to say, be aggressive and go, this is everything I've done. I believe I deserve a raise. Women have a tendency to go hold back because at some point we've been labeled aggressive or the B word, or God knows who knows what else, right?

[00:23:38] Sha Sparks: So we tend to hold ourselves back. Our voice so that we don't get that label again. And what if you went in and was able to go with, these are the things that I do. And these are the things that I've done. And this is how much we have grown as a team. I deserve this. Now I will say from my own experience, watching men [00:24:00] that I coach do this.

[00:24:01] Sha Sparks: A lot of times they don't have a backup plan if they don't get the race. Women, I will say, have a, I don't know if they have an advantage or they think about it differently, but they're like, I have to have the backup plan. So what if they don't give me the raise? Then what am I going to say next? Like, okay, well then I'm not going to stick around for another six months.

[00:24:21] Sha Sparks: I'm going to leave today or whatever the case may be. This is my next job, whatever it is, at least have something that if that's going to make you more comfortable. To have that kind of plan be in, in place before you used your voice, because really you can use your voice, but it's really about creating a safe place in order to do so.

[00:24:44] Loree Philip: Yeah. It's interesting. What came to mind to me is a couple of things. One, you need to know what you need before you can express it to others. Yes. So it's almost like, okay, like you mentioned, you have to hear your [00:25:00] own inner voice first. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you can have the conversation. And in this case, if it's around a race or something, you have to decide you know, what, I feel like I deserve more or I require more money for what I'm putting into my career.

[00:25:14] Loree Philip: That's what I need. And then also that next step, what else do, what do I want to do? If, if I ask and they say no, right. And that is an excellent point because what I've noticed, especially for women and in myself is that we tell ourselves no before we allow somebody else to tell us no.

[00:25:38] Loree Philip: Yeah. So we don't even ask, right? We shut it down. We don't even ask. And. Maybe because it perceived to feel, it would feel bad to hear the no, then even try, I'm not sure what you've seen in your experience, but you know, we will get there over time. So it's like, there's different stages depending on where [00:26:00] you're at with which thing it's like, do you even know what you need?

[00:26:04] Loree Philip: Let's start there. Or you know what you need, but you're not willing to ask, then let's work with that. Right. So what. What's really the next step, Shea, as we start to become more vulnerable, be willing to start expressing our needs, knowing what they are, dipping our toe in the water in a safe way?

[00:26:25] Loree Philip: How do we continue to evolve this so that we can feel more confident when we go out to use our voice?

[00:26:32] Sha Sparks: Yeah. I love this question. And, and I love that you said about literally understanding what it is that you need, because let's just pretend that what you actually need in your professional life is more support.

[00:26:44] Sha Sparks: Right? And so think about that on the, on just having the conversation, the next step, the next layer is ask for support. Who do you need to support you in the, in having this conversation? Who do you need to support you in this? Maybe it's a new lifestyle. Maybe [00:27:00] it's a new job. Maybe it's a new whatever, whatever it is, who can you ask for support?

[00:27:05] Sha Sparks: So now it's creating a, a sphere of influence, a circle of influence. That's really there to support you and help you with. The confidence and getting gonna give you a kick in the pants when you go, I'm not gonna do it No, I can't I can't I can't I you're and you're already beating yourself up You're already saying the no again Like you just said before you even ask you can lean on that circle of influence and they're going to go You know what?

[00:27:33] Sha Sparks: You haven't even asked yet. So why don't you ask first and honestly, I That's the most powerful thing you can do, is the power of ask. The answer is always going to be no until you ask. And when we are afraid, here's a fear piece again, of the word no, what does no mean to you? What feelings, what, what circumstances do we have attached to the word no that [00:28:00] we may need to let go of before we even go in there?

[00:28:03] Sha Sparks: So, getting Being okay with no is also an exercise you can do that I did, gosh, in my 20s, I, I took a self improvement or self development conference when I was in my 20s and they were like, you need to go out into the world and ask as many no questions as you can get and just get comfortable with hearing the word no.

[00:28:27] Sha Sparks: And they were off the wall stuff like, Hey, we ask a stranger, Hey, can I borrow a hundred dollars stuff like that. But we get attached to saying no means that we're bad or that we're awful or, or that we're not good enough because someone told us no. And all it is really saying is if you use it as an acronym, it means next opportunity.

[00:28:51] Sha Sparks: So how can you use your no to find your next opportunity?

[00:28:56] Loree Philip: Hmm. I love that. I've never heard [00:29:00] that before. No, as an acronym for your next opportunity. And, and I've talked about this before in other episodes with guests around the word now and around being willing to find out because there is so much information that you can learn.

[00:29:20] Loree Philip: If you're not in limbo, if you're, if you actually asked and the answer's no, that is great information because now you can take, you have the power then to decide, right? Do I want to stay in this? Even though they said no, what else could, what is the next opportunity for me if I decide that, No, isn't a good enough answer for me, and I actually want to go for what I want.

[00:29:47] Loree Philip: And I just need to find a different way to get it. And so, yeah, I really love that. I, I definitely need to work on hearing no, I think I [00:30:00] actively, we all do types of conversations. Yeah. So for listeners out there that think, Oh, we think it's a piece of cake. It is not a piece of cake. It is. Part of growth and learning and just getting outside of that comfort zone and, and it's important if you decide that that's where you want it, that you're not happy or fulfilled, or there's something missing, or I want something more back to what you were talking about, Sha.

[00:30:30] Loree Philip: When you get to these points where there is a voice inside of you that's saying, Hey. Pay attention to me and if you don't hear it, it's going to come back at you in health issues and before you might get fired if you really need to hear it, it will hit you in the head like a ton of bricks if you don't listen to it.

[00:30:50] Loree Philip: So you might as well start to turn up the volume a little bit on your voice and then starting start to get the courage to. [00:31:00] Practice vulnerability and speaking it a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more. And where are you at now, Sha, in your evolution of vulnerability and starting to use your voice?

[00:31:15] Loree Philip: How far have you come?

[00:31:17] Sha Sparks: Oh, gosh. Well, if we could measure it in miles, I'm sure it would be hundreds of thousands of miles away from it. But I will say it's something you just touched on a little bit ago about courage. And I think that goes. Without saying, because we haven't said it yet, the real piece that comes before the vulnerability is the, the bravery and the courage to take that step of vulnerability.

[00:31:41] Sha Sparks: So, for me, it was, When I took that step and said, went to the networking and said, Hey, I'm new here. I don't know what I'm doing. I would then assess myself when I was driving home or when I got home, I would might journal about it, but I would think about, okay, what did I learn [00:32:00] about how I felt when I said.

[00:32:03] Sha Sparks: I'm new here or I don't know what I'm doing and it was like, oh, well, it didn't kill me. Mm hmm In fact, I felt nothing like it was like, oh, right So then the more I said it the more it was like, oh no big deal So the workup right the anticipation of getting rejected or whatever it is that we're afraid of When we say the truth of I'm new here didn't happen.

[00:32:29] Sha Sparks: The fear lies in the anticipation of the buildup before it happens. When we're in the moment, the fear doesn't happen. So when you then identify that and acknowledge that multiple times, the fearlessness then starts to take over because you're like, Oh, well, it doesn't actually happen in the moment. So I'm good.

[00:32:47] Sha Sparks: I'm going to do this again. I'm gonna do it again and again and again and again. And before you know it, it's gone. Your whole life has kind of shifted. I mean, I went from having a corporate salon to owning a salon to now I've [00:33:00] retired from that and I'm now doing coaching and podcasting full time. I moved across the country, like I've written three books and I have three podcasts and all the different things that I'm not bragging about myself.

[00:33:11] Sha Sparks: And yet I'm owning it because I'm like, yeah, you don't understand. Like there were a point in my life where I was too afraid to even talk. So now here I am on a microphone three times. On three shows and on other interviews, like this great show, and it's like, mind blowing when we go back and acknowledge how far we come, because that's really when you can pat yourself on the back for just taking that first step of vulnerability, that first piece of being brave and having that courage to take that step.

[00:33:44] Loree Philip: I am just so proud of you Shea, I was hearing you and I, I really mean it, I was, I was thinking, wow, she you're doing it. And what came to mind to me is I saw this image on Instagram and it was like, it was two [00:34:00] dots. It was two circles. And it was like, this is what people see. And other people, like they're before and they're after.

[00:34:07] Loree Philip: And, but what really happened was like a bunch of dots along the way. And what we don't see is the very small incremental growth in steps along the way. So in, it really isn't a huge leap. It is a bunch of little steps. And to get you to the next step, and then to get you to the next step, and then before you, you know it, and this is we're talking about our voice, but it's just really anything that you want to achieve is just tiny steps in the right direction to get you to the other side, especially if you're scared of it.

[00:34:47] Loree Philip: If you're not scared of it, sure, you can go take a big leap, but if you are, you can still do it. And, and you, and hear what Sha is saying about the [00:35:00] fearlessness and the courage to be vulnerable and just to kind of get started. And so as we wrap up Sha, I'd love to hear any last closing thoughts you have around just, why it might be important to us to step into that fearlessness for ourselves.

[00:35:19] Sha Sparks: Well, you said just a little bit ago about the leap and I'm going to totally botch this quote up, so please forgive me. But I do live near the space center here in Florida. And the thought that the quote that came up is was it Neil Armstrong? One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

[00:35:40] Sha Sparks: Yeah. Ooh, I got the chills. And what I can apply to what you just said and what we've been talking about is your one small step of bravery. Is a leap for you, you, and not just you, but everything that surrounds you, [00:36:00] your family, your community, your business, your job, the you, and everything that it encapsulates.

[00:36:07] Sha Sparks: So you taking that one small step of bravery is creating a huge leap for you. And that's My final thought on, on everything that we've been, if I could wrap up everything that we've been talking about, that's how I would wrap it up. And man, do I have the chills saying that

[00:36:25] Loree Philip: I did too. I got, I got him from you.

[00:36:27] Loree Philip: I don't know if they came through the microphone. Wow. I, I love that so much. This is true. We are not comparing ourselves to others. We are comparing ourselves to ourselves. Yeah, and it might be easy for somebody else and you might do something that's easy for you. That's very hard for somebody else, but I love this the that one step is a Leap for you.

[00:36:51] Loree Philip: Well, I appreciate you so much Sha if you could share With the audience where they can connect with you, learn more about you and [00:37:00] your

[00:37:00] Sha Sparks: work. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for having me. And this has just been such a joy to be on your show. You can find me at my website at Sha sparks. com and that's S H A S P A R K S.

[00:37:14] Sha Sparks: com. They can hear the podcast at. TheShaSparksShow. com and you can find me on Instagram, TheShaSparks, Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, all the things. And feel free to send me a message. I would love to hear what your takeaway was from Lori's podcast and I mean, we can, how can we support each other?

[00:37:34] Sha Sparks: I'll just put it out there like that. How can we support each other? Instead of you having to fear to ask the question how can we support each other?

[00:37:42] Loree Philip: Thank you so much for your leadership and vulnerability and for taking your journey and using it to support others. It's, it's so needed and I really appreciate it.

[00:37:56] Loree Philip: And thank you for that. Thank

[00:37:59] Sha Sparks: you. [00:38:00] Bye.

[00:38:00] Loree Philip: Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you've enjoyed it, I would love for you to subscribe. If you're already a subscriber, don't forget to share the podcast with a friend.

[00:38:12] Loree Philip: Make sure to tune in next week. We will be speaking with brain coach Dominika about how we can use brain science to stop overwhelm.

[00:38:24] Loree Philip: I hope you have an amazing week. It's your time to shine. Bye.