#78 -Balanced Success: Learn Proven Strategies to Work Less, Live More, and Be Your Best | Empowerment & Career Advice

Daring to Leap Ep. 42 Stacey Olson (Audio only)

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[00:00:00] Loree Philip: Hi, and welcome to Daring to Leap. I'm your host, Loree Philip. Do you feel like you have to give up balance to have a successful career? What if you could live a richer, more meaningful life while excelling in your career? Tune in as Stacey Olson reveals her secrets to a balanced and bold life.

[00:00:23] Loree Philip: Teaching you how to work less, live more, and still be your best. Let's dive in.

[00:00:30] Loree Philip: Stacey Olson helps professionals to create more balance. Stress less and perform even better.

[00:00:37] Loree Philip: She is a leadership and positive psychology certified coach and has 15 plus years of corporate and business experience. Stacy is the founder of the balance leader program offers coaching workshops and speaking, and is the author of her book, your balanced and bold life work less, live more, and be your best.

[00:00:59] Loree Philip: Welcome [00:01:00] Stacy. Thank you for having me, Laurie. I'm so excited to be here. Yes, I'm so excited to have you here. And I love, love, love the title of your book, Balanced and Bold. And I just love this idea that we can be both, right? And that we're not pre constraining ourselves around just being bold or just being successful.

[00:01:24] Loree Philip: But also this idea of. If we have an intention to approach life in a more balanced way that we can do it. I want to hear, I'm curious what, what happened for you? Why did you come up with this focus and topic for the book?

[00:01:40] Stacey Olson: Alright so this has been something that has been a part of, like, a focus for my life for Several years now.

[00:01:49] Stacey Olson: And it all started I had a corporate career, very damn demanding career seen as a high performer, very bright future, and I could show [00:02:00] up pretty good in my work. But I was also working 60, 70, 80 hour work weeks, had three kids at home and my family's getting the worst side of me and it did not feel very good.

[00:02:10] Stacey Olson: And it got to the point where after a long time operating this way, And I was exhausted and burning out, knew something had to change. And so at the most demanding time in my corporate career, I made the decision to put in a hard boundary and I would just go to a regular work week. Thinking that, and this is why I love what you're doing, thinking that, okay, I'm going to sacrifice my career to do this, but the unexpected thing that happened is once.

[00:02:35] Stacey Olson: I did that and learned how to say no and learn how to prioritize better and stuff. I started to perform even better and I was working considerably less hours. I had more personal time and I was more focused at work. I learned how to say no in a way that kept my relationship strong and I got a promotion and I was doing even better as a leader and in my work.

[00:02:58] Stacey Olson: Well, having so much [00:03:00] more time in my personal life. And that's what really led me when I started my own business from the very start. It was this question of how do we be our best at work and at home? Even with all the demands and expectations, cause they're not going away. So what does that look like?

[00:03:14] Stacey Olson: And that's what led me on this path and work with clients on balance. And then the idea of bold is really, I think it's really brave to Decide how you want, what success looks like for you and doing it on your own terms. And I think that takes courage in a society where a lot of people work in a different way to say, Hey, I'm going to do it in a different way.

[00:03:37] Stacey Olson: And that the idea that you can still be successful in your work and have the balance you want. in your life so that you have more time and space for the other important areas of your life. And really this idea that it's not one or the other, it is, what does that look like together? And that's what really inspired me to take what I've done with clients and my own [00:04:00] experience, put it in a book to help others experience that as well.

[00:04:04] Loree Philip: Well, what a powerful story, Stacey. I mean, it, it just hearing it provides me with so much possibility and ideas around we need to start to dismantle some of the assumptions we're making around if I, if I put in boundaries, if I work fewer hours, if I say no to these opportunities, then my career is over.

[00:04:33] Loree Philip: And it really does come from a place of power when we can say, no, actually, and this is why your story is so cool. Actually, when we draw those lines in the sand, we show up better. We show up more power, we show up more focus. We, we can, we model this for others as well, which I love that idea. And so today we're going to be talking [00:05:00] about I know you have a lot of information and great.

[00:05:04] Loree Philip: Depth in your book, but today we're going to pick on some of the most important high leverage type of focused activities or things we can do to start to live our life and careers with more balance without sacrificing our dreams and our boldness. Yes. And so let's get started on that. What would be the first thing that you would suggest that people start to Implement for themselves if they want to go down this path.

[00:05:36] Stacey Olson: Great question. There's the tactical things that we can do, but it really starts with connecting with what really, really truly matters to you. What do you value? What is most important? What is it costing you the way you are operating now? Because your reason why you want to make this change. Needs to be bigger than [00:06:00] staying with the way things are.

[00:06:01] Stacey Olson: So that's kind of the first thing is like connecting to what's really important to you. And for me, it was because I didn't want my husband and kids to get my worst side of me and I didn't want to feel exhausted. And it's this idea that it's really hard to be our best selves when we're exhausted, run down, spread thin.

[00:06:17] Stacey Olson: And so one, getting clear on that is kind of an overarching. And then the next piece of it is starting to look at what, what are those boundaries? I think oftentimes, if you want to work less, and there's also a lot of science and research that supports that when we work less, we are more effective in how we operate, like you shared.

[00:06:41] Stacey Olson: But we think I got to get my workload under control, or I got to, I got to finish this project and then I will slow down and then I will make this change. And the thing is, is there will always be more to do. There will always be other things. And so what I teach and help people with, and it's so counterintuitive, so I appreciate is that we [00:07:00] carve out our personal time first.

[00:07:01] Stacey Olson: We carve out those boundaries that you want, like having an end time in your workday or even, even boundaries within your workday. So they have space to focus on your most important work and not be in meetings all day long, or, some time you maybe need in the morning to focus and make sure you're focusing on the most important things.

[00:07:24] Stacey Olson: And so boundaries next to figuring out your why and why you're doing it. It is. Putting in a boundary in place. And what I always, the thing with boundaries is that, or bounds, it looks different for different people depending on their life, depending on the season that they're in, depending on what is going on.

[00:07:45] Stacey Olson: And so I always invite clients and did this myself is that, okay, if you were to look at what is a great day for you, nothing really big or huge had to happen. It's Just a [00:08:00] genuine day where you felt good throughout your day. You felt that sense of accomplishment. You felt good at the end of the day.

[00:08:05] Stacey Olson: And if you can't think of that, then just think of what an optimal day would look like. But starting from that place to go, okay, well, what does that look like? When did you go into work in the morning? When did you take a break? When did you leave at the end of the day? And you start to see where there are some boundaries.

[00:08:22] Stacey Olson: That fit with your life. And when I stopped working, I had a really bad habit to break. So I made that like I'm, I'm a little bit of all or nothing. So it was easier for me to say, we're just going to this, but putting in that end to leave my day at the end of the day at a certain time, it absolutely changed my life.

[00:08:44] Stacey Olson: Because, and it wasn't always easy I had to manage the worry about what other people think and stuff like that. But it forced me, the thing about boundaries is they force you to get clear on what's important and let go of what's not. So [00:09:00] I'm jumping a little bit ahead, but I'll pause on this, but just boundaries and prioritizing and being effective.

[00:09:07] Stacey Olson: They go hand in hand.

[00:09:09] Loree Philip: so what I was going to say, Stacy, is that. When I look at stopping my work way earlier, for example, than what I had historically done, there is this hours of work in my mind that I'm going to have to let go of. And so that would make me say, okay, I still have 10 things left on my to do list, but I'm stopping now anyway.

[00:09:34] Loree Philip: And that would make me so uncomfortable. So how do we, in that moment, deal with that for ourselves? Is it around priorities?

[00:09:44] Stacey Olson: There is that managing your own, like the narrative, the uncomfortableness, and I mean, anytime you're doing something different, it will feel uncomfortable, but. It is really this idea that yes, a boundary is going to force you to prioritize better.

[00:09:59] Stacey Olson: So if [00:10:00] you really, truly, and, and any clients they'll say, the sooner you start sticking to a boundary that works for you, the sooner you're going to like change everything, but you will start. So for me, when I was ending at five, I had to go, okay, I now took away the option of doing all this work in the evening.

[00:10:18] Stacey Olson: What needs to change. And that's where like. Went quickly into, okay, we got to prioritize better. We got to get clear on where do I add the highest value? And this for you, where do you add the highest value? What are the most important projects or meetings that need your time and attention? And I think when we're starting out, we can think everything.

[00:10:39] Stacey Olson: I need to be involved in all of it. But if you're really putting that constraint in place with the boundary, you will start to go, okay, I have this time. It'll filter out the things that are more important and start to let go of the things that matter less. And so when I [00:11:00] started to do it, it was right away.

[00:11:03] Stacey Olson: Okay. I need to step off a couple of these projects that really aren't the best use of my time. My team can handle it and start to focus on the things where it did move the needle more. And that's this idea of when you work less, you can be more effective because when we don't have boundaries, we can take on a lot of things and we all do it.

[00:11:24] Stacey Olson: So there's nothing wrong there. You take on a lot of things that aren't really the best use of your time. And so this constraint starts to force you to look at your day in a different way and make better choices on where you spend your time and energy and start to let go of things. But then you start to move forward the things that matter more.

[00:11:42] Stacey Olson: And that's how I started to perform better because I was putting so much more of my energy instead of. Split across 15 different things. I was starting to put it more into these focused areas with my team, with certain projects. And I just more focused effort, you excel even [00:12:00] more on it. So, and then the other thing I'll say is that when I put that end of day work.

[00:12:05] Stacey Olson: Boundary in place, I quickly realized I needed to put a two hour time block during my day to have space for my own work. I think people feel selfish when I work with mostly women, they feel selfish to carve out time for your own work. But this is to do the most important things in your day. And so it's okay to take time.

[00:12:26] Stacey Olson: We, we need space and time to think and to focus. Focus. And so putting that to our time block was the next thing I did, and that meant stepping off at some meetings. But again, it forces you to prioritize and learn how to say no, but it's really saying no to, so that you can say yes to the things that do matter more.

[00:12:45] Loree Philip: So Stacey, I really love All of the information you just provided around setting the boundaries and how that forces us to prioritize.

[00:12:54] Loree Philip: And what I love about forcing ourselves to prioritize is just [00:13:00] going through that exercise to look at where am I? Where is my focus the most value in my work? And where is it not? That is so powerful. Whether or not you want to draw a line at the sand at the end of your work day, I would recommend people go in and do this exercise anyway.

[00:13:19] Loree Philip: Because there is a lot of fluff in our day. And there are a lot of tasks that That we do that we just do because their habit or somebody ask us to do 'em in the past. But really there's no real benefit or big enough impact for us to continue doing that. And so unless we stop and take. Doc of our day and our week and our goals and our priorities and re align to what we really need to focus on.

[00:13:51] Loree Philip: That in and of itself is powerful. So I love, I love that reflection and I encourage everybody to do that. Even if you're fine with the [00:14:00] amount of hours you're working, you could free up even more space to, get your projects done even faster or double down on something that's working really well for you.

[00:14:10] Loree Philip: Yeah. So how do we, you mentioned saying no to things and this is one of those topics that's like, ah, I, I know I shouldn't say yes to everything, but you know, I want to be seen as a team player. I want to be seen as somebody who is ready to grab the ball on something and get it done. Or I feel guilty not supporting.

[00:14:38] Loree Philip: Where I can support. So how do we shift our mindset around saying no, so that we can focus our efforts and prioritize.

[00:14:49] Stacey Olson: Great question. And this is honestly the number one question that I get is how to say no and how to do it without the guilt is here over and over again. And. [00:15:00] One part of it is that when you are clear on the things that do matter, it gets easier then to go, Okay, I'm, I'm going to say no to this one request here, even though I'd like to help this person because Then that'll free up my time and space to focus on this area that is more important.

[00:15:19] Stacey Olson: And really everything I do, even though I work way less hours now, even in my own business, I'm still prioritizing and saying no every day to stick with it. But there's this idea around where you say like, how do we think about it? One, it's okay to say no, it is okay. I think, especially as women, we feel guilty or we feel like we're doing something wrong.

[00:15:38] Stacey Olson: And it's like, no, it's okay. It is strategic. It is empowering. And so shifting the mindset around saying, no, that you're not doing a bad thing. It's that you are making a better decision with your time and your energy and what you're focusing on. And when you're clear on those priorities, whether it's in your work or in your personal life, it's easier than [00:16:00] to make those choices.

[00:16:02] Stacey Olson: And then another idea around saying no is just, the thing is, is like, we're already saying no all the time. And because there's always a trade off. So when you say yes to taking on another project at work, you might be saying no to doing a really great job on the, what you already have on your plate. If you say yes to that last minute request at the end of the day from someone, you're saying no to making.

[00:16:28] Stacey Olson: Might be saying no to making it home for supper at night. If you say yes to a weekend event to go out with family and friends, when what you really need is a night to recharge, you're saying no to that night to recharge. So we're always making these choices. So it's kind of stepping back and realizing like there's always a trade off.

[00:16:47] Stacey Olson: There's always a choice. And so instead of just saying yes to everything, and I used to be a yes person and, I'm a lot better at now, but I, I never used to be, but stepping back and going, okay, no, what really [00:17:00] matters to me? What is the best use of my time and attention right now? And just feel more empowered to say yes.

[00:17:09] Stacey Olson: And again, I'll just say it does get easier when you're clear on what those things are that are important to you.

[00:17:15] Loree Philip: Yeah, this is this, I love this conversation so much and what I, I agree with everything you said, but I also, I think that they're at the root of it. Sometimes we, especially as women, for whatever reason, feel like our time is not enough.

[00:17:34] Loree Philip: As valuable as other people's time. And so it's like, you might even hesitate to ask somebody for something because you perceive them to be too busy, or you don't want to burden them with your request, and so it goes both ways where then we say yes to everything and what we're saying is that our time isn't valuable, but it is.

[00:17:56] Loree Philip: In fact, it is more valuable than their time because [00:18:00] it's your time and this is your life and you get to call the shots. With for the most part within reason we all have have or had bosses that it might request something for you from you that you have to stop and do, but generally speaking, we can draw these lines in the sand and take just an extra step as you already laid out.

[00:18:21] Loree Philip: So beautifully to see what that trade off is. So you can clearly see. Okay. I'm going to say yes to this, then I have to be okay saying no to getting home for supper.

[00:18:31] Stacey Olson: Mm hmm.

[00:18:33] Loree Philip: If I say yes to this, I have to be okay with saying no to that. And so I think it's just also practice, like everything else, like once you start saying no for yourself and seeing that the world didn't fall apart, that person didn't like hate you forever get upset with you, it's okay.

[00:18:52] Loree Philip: Then you can keep doing it and you can keep doing it and you can keep prioritizing and saying yes to the things that you want. [00:19:00]

[00:19:01] Stacey Olson: And, and it's I mean, you matter too, and I have a whole chapter in the book on this. It's making yourself a priority too, and being there for others, right? Like we still are there for our team members and our.

[00:19:16] Stacey Olson: Kids in our you're still there for others, but you matter too. And it comes back to what I said at the start is that when we are run down, when we are exhausted, when we're spread too thin, it's really hard to be. Our best selves, whether in our work and our home life. And so just remembering that, I know it can be easy.

[00:19:36] Stacey Olson: Say I'll put everyone else first, but there is a cost to that. And so for me, a lot of times, even today, when I say no to something, I come back to like, Hey, I'm going to be a better coach because I do this. I'm going to be a better mom because I do this. I'm, I'm going to feel better. And I like feeling better.

[00:19:52] Stacey Olson: So. Yeah. It's understanding you matter to, it is absolutely okay to make your time a priority [00:20:00] and you're really coming when you're coming at it from this good intention, like, Hey, I want to do good work. And I want to focus on the right things. That's from a really great place to come from and that's strategic and that's okay.

[00:20:14] Stacey Olson: So.

[00:20:15] Loree Philip: Yeah, yeah. And I was just thinking about all the things you've already laid out as far as first, we're going to set some really clear and strong boundaries. That's going to force us to prioritize and get really clear about what we need to be doing and where we need to focus our efforts. And then we also have practice saying no to the things that aren't aligned with our priorities and vision and what's really important to us.

[00:20:39] Loree Philip: And if we can just step in for a moment and see how powerful that could be. Going from this idea of us spreading ourselves across so thin, as you already mentioned earlier in the conversation, to having all of our energy just really focused on one thing. On the areas of priority, the areas that we [00:21:00] want, the areas that we decided are important to us and how that could change a person's life and the way they show up.

[00:21:09] Loree Philip: And I'd love to hear Stacy if you have any more examples from either yourself or clients about the success story of how once this was implemented, things shifted just to give somebody out there that might want to hear, okay, I could do this. And other people, it has worked for them. Yeah,

[00:21:28] Stacey Olson: great question.

[00:21:29] Stacey Olson: And this is one of those things that like I think we all know boundaries are good. I think, I think we know, understand prioritize a good it's, it's, it's how do I do this and see it through. And when I think of a lot of my clients, I think of one. Woman in particular. And, and she came and she was feeling so overwhelmed and she'd say I would be crying and [00:22:00] when working from home and, cause their workplace had to go work from home and, and just so overwhelmed each day and coming and going, Hey, I want to get a better handle on my workload in my days.

[00:22:10] Stacey Olson: And the idea of setting a boundary. It's like she, she knew, okay, I logically get this can help me, but I just have no idea how I can still be successful in what I'm doing. And so for her, it was once she put that boundary in place and once she started to give herself permission to focus on. Not just do it all.

[00:22:34] Stacey Olson: And that's the thing that will always be more to do. There will always be more. And so it's about getting closer to the heart of the things that really matter. But once she started to really like embody those things that we talked about today and, and get behind it and started working fewer hours, started saying no to some things so she could focus on what was more important in her work.

[00:22:59] Stacey Olson: [00:23:00] And she talks about how she's like. I just am so much more productive and I'm so much focused in my day and that her work, she got back to enjoying her work again. Cause I think that's one thing when we're exhausted and a lot of women that come and work with me is like, they want to do great work, but they're not enjoying it anymore.

[00:23:18] Stacey Olson: And so for this particular woman, I think of her as how she was just like, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. And she had the confidence and the commitment to say, but I'm going to, I'm going to give it a go. I'm going to see it through. And then once she made that shift. She could look back and go, Oh my gosh, I'm, I'm working way less hours.

[00:23:37] Stacey Olson: I'm not crying, overwhelmed in my closet. And I'll just say like we all have bad days sometimes, so it's not that you don't ever get overwhelmed, but it was just going through it. Like it's this idea we can read a book about how to swim. Until you like get in it and do it. You don't really understand. And then she made that shift.

[00:23:56] Stacey Olson: She saw it through and she's like, Oh my goodness, [00:24:00] I can be more focused and productive and feel better and not, and not have work suck the life out of me. And I really enjoy what I'm doing again. But it took her having that courage, the boldness. To follow through and see it through and experience that benefit, because I think what I'm inviting everyone who's listening here and what I had to go through and many of my clients, it can feel counterintuitive.

[00:24:28] Stacey Olson: It still feels counterintuitive. Me as sometimes to go, I got so much going on with the book and stuff to go. I'm still, I'm still gonna honor my boundary and I'm going to take my evening for other stuff. But it's understanding that, Hey, I'm going to be better the next day. I'm going to be more focused and productive.

[00:24:44] Stacey Olson: And so yeah, just want to share is like, there's so many I've seen now is that when they can have that boldness and be courageous and say, Hey, I want to do this in a different way and success on my terms and, [00:25:00] and have the time and space I want in my personal life and still do great in my work, it just opens up.

[00:25:07] Stacey Olson: More solutions and opportunities and it creates that different path to get to where you want to go rather than just one or the other.

[00:25:16] Loree Philip: Right, right. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that story. It's so powerful to see it. And I think it really starts with. Intention for ourselves. Like I want to have more balance in my life.

[00:25:27] Loree Philip: Start there. If that is you, you can do it, but there are some things that, that will, you need to change and how you show up day to day. And I, I'm glad you brought up that we will have bad days because they do happen. You could be the best superstar person in the world. You will have bad days, but what we're trying to do is have.

[00:25:49] Loree Philip: Set up your day where most days are good and you have an occasional bad day instead of most days are bad and you have an occasional good day. It's [00:26:00] flipping that script of implementing the process and the way you show up. Differently so that the majority of your days are in line with where you want to go, who you want to be and how you want to have that bold and balanced career.

[00:26:15] Stacey Olson: Yeah, absolutely. And I just offer a little spin on that question. Like if I were being balanced, what would I do? And you just change it. Or if I were being balanced and still doing my work. What would I do? That, that tells you, you get different, it's, you change the question, you change the, the answers you get and what your

[00:26:33] Loree Philip: possibility and choices are.

[00:26:35] Loree Philip: Yes. Thanks for sharing that. We're going to start to wrap this up a bit, Stacy. I'd love to hear any advice you have for the audience of women who are looking to successfully navigate their careers

[00:26:47] Stacey Olson: Okay. Great question. And I, my number one advice, I mean, there is the, be more balanced work less.

[00:26:57] Stacey Olson: It's okay. Take care of yourself. My main [00:27:00] advice would be to not be so hard on yourself. I think that takes so much. Time and energy, we don't even realize the pressure you put on yourself, the being hard on yourself. And so wherever you're at right now to be able to in the day, look at, well, what are those wins?

[00:27:20] Stacey Olson: How did I show up and grant yourself more grace and be kind to yourself? Cause I think especially as women, we are like way too hard on ourselves. And when you can start to let that go, you can feel more confident and you free up a lot of time and energy with that as well.

[00:27:36] Loree Philip: So, so important. Stacy, thank you for bringing that into the conversation.

[00:27:40] Loree Philip: When you said that. I took a breath. I was like, yeah, you're right. I'm going to relax.

[00:27:45] Stacey Olson: Yeah.

[00:27:46] Loree Philip: It's okay. I guarantee you're doing better than you're giving yourself credit for. Oh, absolutely. We all are. We all are. And I know you have a free gift lined up for the audience. Can you tell me a bit about that? [00:28:00]

[00:28:00] Stacey Olson: Yes.

[00:28:01] Stacey Olson: So the free gift, it is a training where we go deeper on setting boundaries and how to shift your perspective and. Get more on board with, yeah, it is counterintuitive, but how it can really help you. But what it also offers is some language, some words you can use some, some ways to think about saying no, or keeping your boundaries so that once you get clear on what your boundaries are, it's then letting people know and following through.

[00:28:31] Stacey Olson: So we got to follow through. So that training goes deeper into that. It gives a resource with some tips and words that can help you to share it with others that keep your relationship strong, make it easier to let go of the guilt and can help listeners go a little deeper in that space so you can free up your time and energy for the things that do matter more to you.

[00:28:52] Loree Philip: Well, thank you, Stacy, so much for your free gift and also just your experience and [00:29:00] having come through this yourself, being in a position to support others who are on the same journey. Thank you again.

[00:29:08] Stacey Olson: Yes.

[00:29:08] Stacey Olson: Thank you so much for having me today and thank you to everyone who's listening.

[00:29:13] Loree Philip: Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you've enjoyed it, I would love for you to subscribe. If you're already a subscriber, don't forget to share the podcast with a friend.

[00:29:25] Loree Philip: Make sure to tune in next week. We will be speaking with Shannon Russell about how you can have a successful second act in your career.

[00:29:35] Loree Philip: I hope you have an amazing week. It's your time to shine. Bye.