# 71 – 5 Myths Preventing Your Career Success: How to Overcome Them and Thrive | Empowerment & Career Advice

[00:00:00] Loree Philip: Hi, and welcome to Daring to Leap. I'm your host, Loree Philip. Are you navigating your career with beliefs that might actually be capping your potential without you even realizing it? Join us as Tammy Alvarez uncovers the subtle yet impactful myths that could be stifling your career growth. Discover practical strategies to shatter these misconceptions and pave the way for a thriving, professional future.

[00:00:28] Loree Philip: Let's dive in.

[00:00:29] Loree Philip: Tammy is the CEO of the Career Winner Circle and is also an author, professional keynote speaker, inspirational coach, trainer, and epic storyteller. As an award winning entrepreneur and former corporate executive, Tammy believes leaders.

[00:00:47] Loree Philip: Who inspire courage are at the heart of every successful business. Welcome to the show, Tammy. Thanks,

[00:00:56] Tammy Alvarez: Lorraine. It's so, so good to be here. I know we've had this on the calendar for a bit. [00:01:00] So it's nice to be here and and with your audience today. Thank you for the invite. Of

[00:01:04] Loree Philip: course. It's so great to have you here.

[00:01:06] Loree Philip: And I'm, I was just telling you, I'm so excited about our topic today. But before we get into that, I'd love to hear a bit about your career journey and what were you doing before you were running a career? Sure. Winner's circle.

[00:01:20] Tammy Alvarez: Sure. So my career journey is a little different than everyone else's. And before I started this coaching business, I was an executive on Wall Street, so as a C suite executive, and at the end of my corporate career was managing about 2000 people across 35 countries and handling some of the biggest challenges that Wall Street had to offer.

[00:01:41] Tammy Alvarez: But I didn't get there traditionally. So when I was a teenager, my parents had split up. And they I was good with that. My dad was a control freak. So I was super happy cause I was not a well behaved teenager. And but once they split up, long story short is we were homeless. My dad left to [00:02:00] my mom holding a big bill and we were homeless for a bit.

[00:02:02] Tammy Alvarez: And so that background of seeing my mom struggle was really the fuel to the ambition behind my career. And when I had the opportunity to go to college, I didn't take it. I had no money, I had no ambition, so I decided I was just going to go and work, figure my stuff out for a few years and then go back.

[00:02:23] Tammy Alvarez: But I kept getting promoted. So you know, year after year, the family, the kids, the marriage, all the things kept happening and I kept getting promoted. So I didn't end up getting my degree until I was 40. I was in this male dominated industry. I started out in tech selling into financial services and leading teams that did that and then was in financial services.

[00:02:43] Tammy Alvarez: So I'm in the boys club as the only female and the youngest person at the leadership table with no degree. And I was a small country girl, so I had all of these things that really did not line up with everyone else that I was working with. And that's really where the fun comes in, is [00:03:00] trying to find your own way as you're building that thriving career.

[00:03:03] Tammy Alvarez: So I did that for 20 plus years and loved it. Manhattan, fancy apartment, big job, corner office, all the things. And then one day, I remember it just kind of hit me out of nowhere that it's just like, I stopped caring. I was like, I don't really care about any of this anymore. And then, so within six months I had cashed out, moved to a tropical island off the coast of Belize in Central America and started this coaching company about six years ago.

[00:03:30] Tammy Alvarez: Wow.

[00:03:30] Loree Philip: Wow. Wow. Wow. I have so many questions and I will let you know, I did have a similar moment where out of nowhere I was like, what am I doing with my life? I can't do

[00:03:40] Tammy Alvarez: this another minute.

[00:03:43] Loree Philip: Yeah. So, but okay. So you have this fancy career and you decide to cash out and move and start a business in six months.

[00:03:54] Loree Philip: Tell me what was it? About you, about what you wanted that gave [00:04:00] you the courage to just let go of something that you've been doing for so long and go leap out into trying something new. Well, let's not make any mistakes about this. I was terrified. Okay. This is probably one of the most terrifying things I had ever done in my career.

[00:04:17] Tammy Alvarez: I had made it to the point where everybody strives to be. And I was like, and you're just going to walk away. And I'm like, yeah, I am. But it was probably one of the most terrifying things I had done. And the reason I was able to do it, however, is I had spent my entire career taking big risks. And and knowing that I had learned through a lot of hard knocks, how to fail forward and how to develop a healthy relationship with failure, because I think a lot of people look at success and failure as opposites.

[00:04:50] Tammy Alvarez: When the reality is you can't succeed without failing. And if you avoid failure, then you are inadvertently avoiding success. And because I didn't have a degree, [00:05:00] because I I lived the imposter syndrome every day before it was even a thing, right. Before it even had a name and knowing that I'm in over my skis.

[00:05:09] Tammy Alvarez: I don't know what I'm doing, but I've always had the capability of figuring it out and then excelling, I knew I had that to draw on. Plus I had a great support system with my partner and my family in terms of I'm like, if worse comes to worse, I'm just going to end up sleeping on my mom's couch for a few months until I can figure myself out, right?

[00:05:27] Tammy Alvarez: If everything goes wrong. And and so that's really where the step came from that big leap. It was not without a lot of fear. I went through every mistake you could possibly make as an entrepreneur, because I had no idea what I was doing. I could run big corporate teams, but when it's your money and your mistakes, it changes everything.

[00:05:46] Tammy Alvarez: Yeah, it does. And so it took me a good solid two years to finally figure out how to do this. And then the company really started to grow and thrive, but it was not without a lot of a lot of headaches, a lot of heartburn, a few tears, a couple high fives [00:06:00] and all the things that go along with it.

[00:06:01] Loree Philip: I really, I really love your take on failure and we talk about failure quite a bit on this podcast and the importance of it, the growth mindset around it, and learning from it. And you're so right. You, you ha failure is inevitable on your path of growth in, in trying to achieve what you're gonna achieve because nobody gets it right the first time.

[00:06:28] Loree Philip: You don't know what to exactly, precisely what to do and are great at it the first time you try something, so you have to be a bit vulnerable. And, I love this. Also, you mentioned risk taking in your career, and it is a skill, a habit, a practice around taking risks and learning from it and doing it again and again.

[00:06:56] Loree Philip: It's not something like you, you build that muscle over time where you get [00:07:00] comfortable with risks, you get comfortable with a little bit of failure, although it's never, doesn't feel good, that's for sure. No matter how many times that you've done it. So thank you for bringing that into the conversation, Tammy and congrats on your leap and congrats on your business growth and, and we, we also celebrate all of the successes that we're doing here.

[00:07:22] Loree Philip: So thank

[00:07:22] Tammy Alvarez: you. Yeah.

[00:07:23] Loree Philip: I want to shift gears a bit and dive into the topic at hand. And what we wanted to talk about was. Five lies that hold you back from having a thriving career and how to play the game differently.

[00:07:38] Loree Philip: And I love, this is a juicy topic, so I just want to dive right in and hear all the lies that, that are really holding us back. So let's just start from the top and we'll work our way down. What would you say is the first lie that you've seen that really holds us back?

[00:07:53] Tammy Alvarez: Yep. And, and so the first thing that, that really prevents us from stepping into that thriving career [00:08:00] is the misbelief or the misconception that no one really loves their job and that loving your job is more of a pipe dream.

[00:08:10] Tammy Alvarez: Then it is a reality because that doesn't really happen, right? And that is the biggest reason that people stay stuck. It's the biggest reason that people allow themselves to be comfortable, which I think is career suicide. If you allow yourself to stay comfortable for too long and when you start to make that mindset shift that actually I do deserve to love Mondays and I do deserve to step into something that lights me up every single day and I'm not going to compromise until I get that.

[00:08:42] Tammy Alvarez: Then all of a sudden when you give yourself that permission and realize that it is not just for a critical few, it's for everyone, then all of a sudden things start to change. And you start to have different expectations and you start to put up with a lot less nonsense. And so with that mindset shift being able to really step [00:09:00] into the things that energize you.

[00:09:01] Tammy Alvarez: So I talked a lot with my clients. We focus on skills. We focus on status. We focus on promotions, titles, money, but we don't focus on what really brings all of those things into abundance, which is our, our energy. And when you find that you're in an environment where you doing thing where you're doing things that energize you, the things that you could do for 12 hours a day and never get tired, then all of the other things will come, but we put those things aside and chase all the wrong things.

[00:09:29] Tammy Alvarez: And so, when you stop and say, I'm not going to settle anymore, I'm not going to settle anymore. I'm going to do the things that really energize me and that I really enjoy, then everything else will come along with it. So the first lie we tell ourselves is that no one really loves Mondays. So I'm not even going to try.

[00:09:43] Tammy Alvarez: So we quit before we start.

[00:09:44] Loree Philip: I, I resonate with this quite a bit, Tammy. It's the, the key word here is I'm not going to settle anymore. And it's interesting because when you look at how many. [00:10:00] Hours, days, years of our lives. that we spend working, right? Work is such a big chunk of this short life we have on this planet.

[00:10:11] Loree Philip: And, and that was one of the epiphanies I had when I was reevaluating what I wanted to do was that my time all of a sudden felt more valuable and it started to feel limited when we were going through COVID and I started to see the impact of people, Getting really sick and some people healthy, otherwise people dying like, okay, well, if I have this limited amount of time on this planet, how do I want to spend it?

[00:10:40] Loree Philip: Yeah. And so it's a bit about both believing that, that the light. Is is a lie, right? That you that people aren't happy on monies. I should just work and deal with it. It's not supposed to be fun. It's not supposed to be energizing

[00:10:56] Tammy Alvarez: work. All those things, right? That's why they call it work, right?

[00:10:59] Tammy Alvarez: Yep. [00:11:00]

[00:11:00] Loree Philip: Yeah. And so I get past that, but then also, Allow myself to kind of feel like I deserve it it's like, it's not just for other people, it's also for me, and these are, these are just little, little, and sometimes big hurdles that we can face as we shift our mindset around. Okay. Yes, I can have a job that lights me up.

[00:11:28] Loree Philip: I can have a career that lights me up and I I will go for it and I'm not going to settle anymore. Yes. And

[00:11:35] Tammy Alvarez: we think it's unattainable, but yet there are moments in our careers where everything seems to fall into alignment and you love it. You're doing working on a great project with really good people.

[00:11:45] Tammy Alvarez: You're making a big impact. And so if you can have those situations and those moments in your career where that shows then why can't you have it almost all the time? Right, so it is there, it has shown up, and it's just our [00:12:00] responsibility to create an environment for ourselves where we no longer settle.

[00:12:05] Tammy Alvarez: And we know where our energy and where our ability to make an impact come from, and put ourselves in those situations, no matter how comfortable getting there might make us.

[00:12:15] Loree Philip: I was thinking about the 80 20 rule, like and, and sometimes we're in these jobs where, 80 percent of it we don't like and 20 percent of it we love and, and if we could just flip that on its head, right, and have, find, find a role, find a position.

[00:12:33] Loree Philip: It doesn't have to be something completely different where 80 percent of it that you love and 20 percent is going to be that. Percent, but you know, you have to do, cause it's part of the job. It's on your favorite. That's right. And it's, it is we're, we're being honest and truthful with people.

[00:12:48] Loree Philip: It's not always sunshine and roses, but, you can have that focus where you shift. I want to have the majority of my time being on something that, that really does light me up.

[00:12:59] Tammy Alvarez: Yeah. And I think [00:13:00] a good way to know whether you're on track or not is think about Sundays. Thanks guys. Like, if you start to get that pit in your stomach on Sunday afternoon, knowing that Monday is coming, then it's time to make a change.

[00:13:13] Loree Philip: Yeah. Yeah. The Sunday scaries. And yes I used to, I mean, this is a side, but I used to work at Starbucks when I was in college and I noticed that people were mean on Sundays and I was thinking, gosh, they're just already worried and thinking about Monday and so they let it ruin their whole Sunday. Yes.

[00:13:36] Tammy Alvarez: And it's not fair, right? You feel like you can jump out of a day on the weekend or at least a half a day on the weekend. Right. Right.

[00:13:41] Loree Philip: Right. So what about lie number two, Tammy, what's the next one? So the

[00:13:47] Tammy Alvarez: next slide that holds everyone back is the belief that you have to have experience to do something different.

[00:13:54] Tammy Alvarez: It's like, well, I would do something different, but I've never done it before, or I don't have enough experience or [00:14:00] there are people that have more experience than I do. So how are you going to go and compete? With someone who's done the job that you might be interested in for 15 years when you've not actually done that job yourself And so that's another Lie that we tell ourselves when the reality is we're looking at it and we're looking for opportunities in in different ways And the what I encourage my clients to do is once they find kind of their sweet spot I was really gonna light them up and what you want to do because most the time that's not something you've done before It's something you're able to do You But it's not something you've actually can throw on your resume and tell good war stories and all that stuff.

[00:14:37] Tammy Alvarez: And so what you want to do is you want to find environments where those types of skills are in high demand and in short supply. Because when that happens, you are like golden. Because things that come naturally to you, the things that you love to do are not available or organically available within organizations or [00:15:00] industries.

[00:15:00] Tammy Alvarez: And now all of a sudden you're working with Google. A good example from my career, and there's tons we can talk about, but I grew up in the consulting business. So I ran a software developers and recruitment teams and sales teams. And so these consultants would work in variety of different companies around wall street, and that's all I knew because that's where I started my career.

[00:15:21] Tammy Alvarez: So I just know that consulting model because I didn't even think it was special. I'm like, of course it is. That's, that's what I do all the time. But when I went into financial services for the first time, this massive 5, 000 person division, Was decentralized so every department had their own group. So it was custom solutions It was whatever they wanted whenever they wanted and there were cost pressures and they had to centralize but out of a 400, 000 person bank No one knew how to do this effectively Because if you grew up in banking, you knew, you knew you always had your own team.

[00:15:56] Tammy Alvarez: And so when I came in without direct financial services [00:16:00] experience without technical experience in terms of the group that I came in with, but knowing just in my core DNA, how to get one group of people to serve multiple stakeholders successfully without blowing yourself up politically. Right.

[00:16:15] Tammy Alvarez: Cause it was a very difficult political situation that was like, That was my shining moment coming into a brand new role that I had no business being in. My first job, two minutes on the floor on the floor, was to reorganize 5, 000 people. Like, I haven't even found the coffee pot yet, right?

[00:16:32] Tammy Alvarez: And so, but because all of these things were so natural to me, the things I would just say were like massive epiphanies to everyone in the room. It's like, oh. So that's what I mean by high demand. I mean, they needed somebody who could do that, but in a short supply. And there's a lot of other examples that, that we can cover.

[00:16:49] Tammy Alvarez: But once you start to realize this lights me up, now what industries, what's going on in the market, where is this needed? Because there's always change and volatility. Then you can start to really call your own shots [00:17:00] and end up where you want to be and make the big impact that you want to make. Hmm.

[00:17:04] Loree Philip: That's definitely, I hadn't thought about it that way, Tammy, but it it's so true and.

[00:17:10] Loree Philip: And it's also this mindset shift around, sometimes, and you express this in your story, sometimes the, the people that have been in those positions and have that experience for 15 years, don't see it from this fresh, new perspective that somebody coming in with enthusiasm and that different background that you described to really see.

[00:17:33] Loree Philip: And so there is this. Complete benefit and diversity of thought around bringing in your skill set into some a different environment and showing value from that perspective. Absolutely. That's a really great example. I'm curious if you have 1 more example, Just for people that are trying to really place how this might work for them.

[00:17:57] Loree Philip: Sure,

[00:17:57] Tammy Alvarez: absolutely. And so one of my [00:18:00] clients, one of my corporate clients is a very large organization. They have always had this abundance of investment money. Right. All the VC money, all the investment money. So whenever, and this whole company grew up together, right. So it was a hyper startup that as a name, I'm sure everyone knows, but from that perspective, they've, they've always been able to solve problems with money, hiring more people, spend more money, bring in a new consulting organization.

[00:18:28] Tammy Alvarez: And then when they went public and at the same time, their competitors started to get their act together. All of a sudden they were starting to get their clocks cleaned. Their stock price plummeted, the investors were pissed the investment banks that had money in it were so much pressure, but no one inside knew how to grow through shrinking.

[00:18:49] Tammy Alvarez: No one inside knew how to transform using what you have and not going out and buying the latest shiny object. So when leaders come [00:19:00] in to that type of organization where they've done these things, they've done them repeatedly, and then they can start to show the existing executives who have all of the domain knowledge, how to do this and how to apply this.

[00:19:12] Tammy Alvarez: I mean, those people are, are worth their weight in gold. I think another thing that people do that I talk to my clients about all the time is we underestimate the skills we actually bring to the table. We dismiss them. I didn't do it. I did it a long time ago. I didn't do it. My team did.

[00:19:29] Tammy Alvarez: I'm not an expert. We have all these things that we have battle scars. For in terms of skill building that we just throw away, we dismiss them as not important. But the reality is the skills that you have are the currency that you will buy your next job with. And so it's equivalent to saying, you know what?

[00:19:48] Tammy Alvarez: I don't want interest on my bank account because I didn't actually earn that money. It's like, it's the same thing. It's like, no, we don't need that. So when you start to hoard and take credit for all of the skills that you've ever had regardless of [00:20:00] how much of an expert or not, how recent or long it all counts, and you start to put those things together.

[00:20:06] Tammy Alvarez: Now, all of a sudden you have a lot more to bring to the table and you've got a lot more diversity in your capability to contribute than you initially give yourself credit for.

[00:20:13] Loree Philip: I think those examples really did help Tammy to kind of understand how to craft. It's almost like, I feel like it's a puzzle and it's like, okay, here are my pieces.

[00:20:24] Loree Philip: Where can I find a role that needs these pieces? And I'm just naturally skilled at this and I love doing it. Wouldn't it be great? To it's like this perfect match that that somebody can go start to see those gaps and yeah And

[00:20:41] Tammy Alvarez: then look where what's happening in the market to say? Oh, hang on a second this is actually something that other markets need or other industries need that I can do with my eyes closed So let me start to think about things in a different way And even sometimes depending on the size of the company it can be even within the same company You [00:21:00] know so it doesn't always have to be external.

[00:21:02] Tammy Alvarez: So you'd be surprised when you start to look at things through a different lens how much that opens up your eyes to say, Oh, hang on a second, I'm not nearly as stuck as I think I am.

[00:21:11] Loree Philip: Right, Right. Okay, let's move on to lie number three.

[00:21:16] Tammy Alvarez: Three. Okay, so lie number three that we tell ourselves is that companies don't hire from outside their industry.

[00:21:22] Tammy Alvarez: Right. So if you're in this industry, it's like, and you want to shift industries, it's like, that's going to be a really, really hard pivot to make. And the reality is, it's not, and we, we think that we're stuck. And if you're stuck on the Titanic, like financial services is a great example. It used to be a really sexy job to have.

[00:21:40] Tammy Alvarez: And now it's miserable, like, no one wants to be there, right? Because it's just, there's so much downsizing and just so much drama and, like, it's not fun anymore. But yet people feel like they're stuck there because that's all they know. That's all they've done. And to pivot to something that's more innovative is going to be almost impossible.

[00:21:58] Tammy Alvarez: But what we found is [00:22:00] the most successful way to change what you're doing is to stay within the ecosystem of your industry. So if you think about where your industry is and then all the vendors, the suppliers, the companies that are upstream to what you guys do, the companies that are downstream to what you do, that's all part of the ecosystem.

[00:22:18] Tammy Alvarez: And when you start to look for opportunities in those various areas, they're dramatically different from what you're doing now, but yet it's somewhat related. So it's kind of like going to Thanksgiving dinner and talking to the cousin that you see once a year, right? You've got enough in comments where you can have a little conversation and be comfortable.

[00:22:35] Tammy Alvarez: It's not like a plate a table full of strangers. And so when you want to get out of your industry and really pivot into something that is either new or innovative or just different healthcare is another one that's driving a lot of people away, unfortunately that's what you do.

[00:22:50] Tammy Alvarez: So you look at suppliers and vendors and all these other things. And when you start to make those connections and then go back to rule number two, Right? And [00:23:00] find those those cousins, if you will, that have the needs based on what's happening in their business for what you do, then all of a sudden you're not a risk.

[00:23:09] Tammy Alvarez: You speak the same language the acronyms, like you've got all the things that they already know. So you can slide into that in a much easier way than if you start to do something completely different that doesn't have anything associated with what you've done before. So I think a lot of people feel like they're stuck on a Titanic of an industry that doesn't serve them and that doesn't energize them and that is just trying to cut their way to prosperity.

[00:23:35] Tammy Alvarez: And don't see a way out to move into because there are people having fun out there. There are companies who are profitable. There are groups that are not toxic and all of those things are available if you just know where to look.

[00:23:47] Loree Philip: It's interesting because when you said that, I'm like, well, I guess I would perceive it still to be in the industry, but it is, it's thinking about it more broadly around.

[00:23:59] Loree Philip: It's a [00:24:00] different type of thing that a lot of these suppliers upstream downstream companies from what you're doing could be, but you're right. It's all related. It's not like you're going in cold and you don't have any ideas of what's going on with it. Right. With their type of business because of where you came from or where you're coming from, right?

[00:24:21] Loree Philip: That's, that's a really good one, Tammy. And I like this, there are people having fun out there. You must talk to a lot of people that are miserable.

[00:24:32] Tammy Alvarez: No one who's happy calls a coach, right? So I was like,

[00:24:34] Loree Philip: yeah, it is. That is a good point. I have, I've had some of these conversations recently and I was thinking exactly what you're talking about.

[00:24:42] Loree Philip: Oh my gosh. People reach out when they're just really down or really stuck or just had the rug pulled out from underneath of them. But there are those other companies and other industries and [00:25:00] other things that you can do and your skills are applicable across the

[00:25:03] Tammy Alvarez: board. Absolutely. And I think when you start to think about those related industries, that's like me moving from consulting to financial services.

[00:25:12] Tammy Alvarez: I had sold into, my teams had sold into financial services for a decade. I had no idea how it actually worked on the inside. I was never in there, right? So, I don't know how decisions are made, manager routines, I didn't even know what manager routines were when I got there. I'm like, what is that, right? And all of these other things.

[00:25:28] Tammy Alvarez: So, it's different enough, but related enough to where you can make that transition without feeling like a complete amateur. And that's probably the easiest way to make that change.

[00:25:37] Loree Philip: And, and so about lie number

[00:25:39] Tammy Alvarez: four, lie number four is probably one of the biggest things that hold people back. And it is the it's the fear, the belief, whatever we want to call it, that if you're going to make a change, you have to take a step back.

[00:25:53] Tammy Alvarez: And we have worked so hard to get where we are and to have the impact and the respect [00:26:00] and the title and the money and the lifestyle of all these things that it feels. Like in, especially if you were content. Right. If like, if you, if not miserable, but you're not loving it, it's like, it just feels like it's a lot of risk to give up all the things that you've worked so hard for.

[00:26:16] Tammy Alvarez: So people stay where they are until they get to that point where it's a crisis. And so I think if you're in that situation where comfort, you're comfortable, but not happy because it's good enough or because you should be happy because you have it better off than everyone else.

[00:26:33] Tammy Alvarez: Typically, it's a fear based belief that you are going to have to take a step back if you make a change. And the reason people believe this is because if you do it wrong, that's exactly what happens. But when you do it right, it almost never happens. Most of our clients and we've served hundreds of probably three, three or 400 clients at this point in, in our career strategy services when they leap into something that they've done differently that they've never done [00:27:00] before they're making 20 percent more because we show them how to do it right.

[00:27:04] Tammy Alvarez: And not because if you show up like a rookie, if you show up like, Oh, I don't, I haven't done this before, but I know I can, then that's not going to work. Right. Then you are diminishing your value, but when you show up in a situation where it's like, because I'm different, I'm more valuable than my competition.

[00:27:23] Tammy Alvarez: And you put in yourself in those situations where you're in high demand and in short supply and you're doing the things that light you up where you know you're going to make a big impact and you're going to have that ability to lead and, and move things forward. That is when you start to make that transition.

[00:27:41] Tammy Alvarez: And oftentimes, especially if you're in the last, let's say third of your career, when you start to make the transition from being paid for what you do to being paid for what you know, then that's where you're going to see the ability to make a bigger leap. Into a different industry or into a different role and get paid significantly more while you're at it.[00:28:00]

[00:28:00] Tammy Alvarez: So there are absolutely tried and true ways to be able to do something completely different and not only keep all the tools and toys that you've worked so hard for, but actually to end up better, both financially, as well as your ability to make an impact.

[00:28:13] Loree Philip: Hmm. This one, this one is interesting to me because I've seen it both ways.

[00:28:18] Loree Philip: I've seen people who feel like they can't take a step up unless they switch because in their current role in the organization, maybe there's not opportunities that are becoming available for them to, to get that promotion or move into that next level position. Right. And so, they think, okay, in order for me to move up, I need to shift.

[00:28:39] Loree Philip: And then I think it's more around what you're speaking to, Tammy, is what you said earlier, is if you're very comfortable. And this is what we talk about, like the golden handcuffs. You've been with the company for a long time. You've built up your salary. You've built up your benefits, your [00:29:00] retirement plans, your pensions.

[00:29:01] Loree Philip: And you're like, how possibly can I leave this and get equivalent or more? Than what I have today, and and so I think that's where. I think that's where this particular mindset is very well suited for is somebody who's feeling that that stuck energy and and aspiring to do something else. I mean, we have so many years of working life that.

[00:29:30] Loree Philip: even if you've been with some company for 20 or so years, you still might want to work for another 10 plus

[00:29:36] Tammy Alvarez: years. Well, yes. And I was working longer, right. And then later in life. So for sure. And that's why we've got the golden handcuffs on my book, right? Cause that's something that everyone resonates with are those golden handcuffs.

[00:29:46] Tammy Alvarez: And here's a pro tip. So if you've got unvested stock. That you're afraid to walk away from right with in terms of your longterm incentive and those types of things. Most of the time, especially if you're in a mid to senior level leader role, [00:30:00] your next job will buy those for you. They will give you a replacement stock for the amount of the value that you have.

[00:30:06] Tammy Alvarez: So you're actually don't have to leave anything on the table. And it's all about knowing how to negotiate and set that up and whatnot. So, but I think that the, the scarcity mindset that I've got to give something up to be happy. It's the very first thing people say, like first onboarding or, or a session.

[00:30:22] Tammy Alvarez: It's like, okay, well I don't have to make as much money. I'm like, well, why not? Like you should, right. Or I don't have to do this or I'm willing to do this. And it's, it's just insane how deeply embedded this is into our mindset. Is that to do something different, I'm going to have to give something up because happiness has a cost.

[00:30:40] Tammy Alvarez: And we put ourselves in the situation like, do I want to be happy or do I want to have all the things I've worked so hard for? And when you're pitting those things against each other versus realizing that, no, you actually can have all of it and this is how you do it, then that's probably one of the most freeing shifts in mindset and skills in order to go [00:31:00] get that and make that a reality that, that people can experience.

[00:31:04] Loree Philip: Thank you for those tips. I, I, I believe it's, it's so true. It's so, it's, it's when you step into something and you're coming from a place of I'm just so exhausted, so frustrated. I'm ready to quit. I will do anything, leave anything on the table to make this happen. It's not a great place to come from it may be where you're at, but there is a lot of value to shift, to spend some time shifting out of that and to re, re aligning with your worth, re aligning with your value you're getting paid a certain amount today because of all of your years of experience.

[00:31:47] Loree Philip: The knowledge you bring to the table, what you can value can provide to a company, all of that stuff doesn't go away just because you're ready to leave. Right. Exactly. Let's, let's hear the last one, Tammy. I'd love to hear number [00:32:00] five. Okay.

[00:32:00] Tammy Alvarez: So number five is that if you are patient enough, the company will recognize your good work and take care of you.

[00:32:09] Tammy Alvarez: And the reality is that is not how it works. And your good work. Is not good enough. And it is probably one of the most soul crushing moments when people year after year kill themselves and find themselves in the middle of the pack in terms of stack ranking in the middle of the pack, in terms of compensation, missing out on those promotions and thinking that, okay, well next year.

[00:32:36] Tammy Alvarez: Next year, next year, and next year never comes. And so when you realize that until you start advocating for yourself, until you start to treat your career like a business and become that CEO of your career where you're taking accountability for outcomes and you are setting the rules in terms of what is and isn't good enough, [00:33:00] And if you keep waiting for the system to take care of you, you will remain disappointed and disenfranchised.

[00:33:07] Tammy Alvarez: And so you've got to realize that good work is table stakes. But when you start to treat your career like a business and you become that CEO and you think about things like a business owner, it's like are my, are the services I offer, are they compelling? Are they in high demand? What is my market value?

[00:33:24] Tammy Alvarez: And I getting paid what I'm worth you start to think about things, which drives me crazy. When you get all these, the luxury, the recognition, and you get extra work. And you get no title or compensation increase and you should feel honored. No, no. That's called scope. Right. If my client says, I need you 20 percent more work, I'd be like, great.

[00:33:45] Tammy Alvarez: Let's renegotiate the contract. Happy to help. Right. But no one does that because they're expecting that, well, they'll get taken care of later at the end of the year, hoping that their boss doesn't develop amnesia or something happened. Right. And I have so many people that are on the [00:34:00] verge of tearing men and women be having killed themselves to get nowhere.

[00:34:04] Tammy Alvarez: Because an org happens, new leader comes in and all the things they were promised never actually come. And as a business owner, if your client says, I'm going to pay you seven months after you do the work, it's probably not a client you would take on. And there's ways to have these conversations with your employer without sounding like a total jerk and without coming across like trying to feel like you're not a company person or whatever that is.

[00:34:28] Tammy Alvarez: So there's ways to do this. But until you start to really look at your career as a business. And are you viable? Do you have a sales team who's advocating for you when you're not in the room? Are you getting paid market value? Do you understand your strategic fit? How are you marketing yourself both internally and externally within the organization?

[00:34:49] Tammy Alvarez: When you start doing those things and taking it seriously, instead of feeling gypped every time your boss and the system disappoints you, then all of a sudden you put yourself in control. [00:35:00] And no matter what happens around you, whatever reworks, acquisitions, divestitures, whatever it is, you hold the cards because now you're in control.

[00:35:09] Tammy Alvarez: You get to make the decisions, stay or go. You get to make the decisions, surge or hold back and wait and see. And so becoming that CEO of your career and taking that full accountability and that business mindset. Like if we ran our careers half as well as we run our businesses as leaders, we'd be in such a better place.

[00:35:28] Loree Philip: This is a really good one and it's so empowering. At first when I heard it, I, I had to take a breath because it is very soul crushing. We work so hard. We put ourselves, we put our everything in our work and when nobody notices, gives us the recognition, gives us the promotion. It's so defeating.

[00:35:52] Loree Philip: And that's, that's the lack of empowerment that we can feel by just doing that and [00:36:00] expecting people to notice. Right. But when you can shift that and say, okay, this is what I've been doing. It hasn't been working. It's like the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

[00:36:13] Loree Philip: So clearly working harder is not the answer and all it does is lead to burnout and disappointment. Obviously, there's going to be a time and a place that that you will need to work a little harder than usual And and you can decide that for yourself, but I like this idea and I'm fully supportive of taking full Ownership of your career and and really navigating all of the components of it.

[00:36:42] Loree Philip: Where do you want to go? Why do you want to do it? Like what just, just putting that leadership focus on it is so important. And it, it is a thing that can make a difference. And it is, as you mentioned, Helps you feel in your control

[00:36:59] Tammy Alvarez: [00:37:00] and because there's a lot of uncertainty out there and so people almost take you know And I'm not you know victim blaming here You know But I think people really do feel like there's not much they can do about when the reality is there's almost Everything you can do about it Well, internally and externally, and it's interesting because in the, the book escaping the career trap it's very driven towards this mindset and how to do it and how to show up and play bigger.

[00:37:26] Tammy Alvarez: And originally I thought, okay, this is definitely for the the individual leader, who's really trying to break out of the rut. And love Mondays again. What I'm also finding is corporations. Are hiring me to do keynote speeches about becoming that CEO of your career.

[00:37:44] Tammy Alvarez: Because they want people to take that accountability as well, instead of sitting here, wringing their hands, saying the system failed me. And so it is a win for both the company, because you start to make better decisions, advocate for yourself differently, be more ambitious [00:38:00] and start to see opportunity instead of obstacles.

[00:38:03] Tammy Alvarez: And that benefits you. Your career and your organization and so this isn't something to fear or feel like it's you know, not being company minded You know You can treat your career like a business Become that CEO and still love the people you work with and the conscious customers you serve and the market that you're in You can have both and actually what I'm finding is most organizations want their people to take that kind of accountability

[00:38:28] Loree Philip: Sure.

[00:38:29] Loree Philip: Before we wrap up, I'd love to get your final thoughts on how we can play the game differently. I mean, we laid out five lies that, that we've been that's been holding us back. What is I guess that we probably have time for one thing that we can do to start to play the game a bit differently.

[00:38:48] Loree Philip: Okay.

[00:38:49] Tammy Alvarez: So I think that the biggest pro tip for playing the game differently is to really embrace an experimental mindset. And this kind of goes back to the whole pass fail situation, success failure. [00:39:00] And when we have these binary mindsets of it's either all good or all bad, then we're backing ourselves into a corner where we have a very low chance of success.

[00:39:09] Tammy Alvarez: But when you take on that experimental mindset, and when you kind of have this idea of like, what does this button do, and push it to see what happens, you know that nothing is 100 percent successful, and nothing is 100 percent failure. There's a blend of both. And so the narrative that you tell yourself and that you tell others matter.

[00:39:29] Tammy Alvarez: And when you're going in, because all of this is the reason people don't do this naturally is because there's a fear based response of, Ooh, this is hard, may not turn out in my favor. And so, but it's okay. And so we've got that experimental mindset and you're open about it saying, I'm going to give this a try and we're going to see what happens.

[00:39:46] Tammy Alvarez: And we're going to keep the stuff that's good. We're going to get rid of the stuff that punched me in the face because that's no fun. Don't want to do that again. And we're going to find new ways to adjust the things that didn't work the way we wanted it to and give that another try. Now we're willing to do [00:40:00] that in business that's where agile came from and all these strengths and all these short term pilots, but we're not willing to do it for ourselves.

[00:40:07] Tammy Alvarez: And so when you have that experimental mindset where you're not getting slowed down or your soul is not getting crushed by these epic failures that we like to play out in our minds and you realize some was good, some wasn't, and we're going to do it again, keeping the good stuff, then that gives you that resilience that you need.

[00:40:25] Tammy Alvarez: To be able to do all the things that we talked about.

[00:40:28] Loree Philip: Mm hmm. I really love that and I couldn't agree with it more Tammy Could you share with our audience where they could reach you learn more about you and your work? Sure.

[00:40:39] Tammy Alvarez: Absolutely So there's a few places you can reach us, right? So if you're looking or to learn more about our coaching services, then you can definitely find us at career winner circle calm I also do keynotes and Workshops, lectures on all different topics, not just this one.

[00:40:53] Tammy Alvarez: So you can certainly find that and my new book, escaping the career trap, transform your apathy into ambition [00:41:00] and never hate Mondays again. And you can certainly find all of that information on escaping the career trap. And then hit me up on LinkedIn. I get a lot of people who have listened to podcasts who reach out on LinkedIn just to say hi and share their experiences.

[00:41:14] Tammy Alvarez: So please feel free to reach out and connect.

[00:41:16] Loree Philip: Great. Well, Tammy, I appreciate your time today and really just so much insight, insightful tips and tricks and things that you've been working on with clients over the years, and thank you for sharing that with us today. It

[00:41:31] Tammy Alvarez: was my pleasure. Thanks again for the invite.

[00:41:32] Tammy Alvarez: It was great talking to you and your, and your community

[00:41:34] Loree Philip: today. Thank you. Thanks, Tammy.

[00:41:36] Loree Philip: Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you've enjoyed it, I would love for you to subscribe. If you're already a subscriber, don't forget to share the podcast with a friend.

[00:41:48] Loree Philip: Make sure to tune in next week. We will be speaking with January Donovan about how to uncover our dreams and become the woman who can pursue them. I hope you have an [00:42:00] amazing week. It's your time to shine. Bye.