#77 – Career Advancement: Are These 3 Career Saboteurs Holding You Back from Your Potential? | Empowerment & Career Advice

[00:00:00] Loree Philip: Hi, and welcome to Daring to Leap. I'm your host, Loree Philip. Have you ever wondered why your career isn't progressing as you had hoped? Are there hidden saboteurs undermining your career potential? Join us as high performance coach, Rosie Zilinskas, uncovers the three major obstacles that could be holding you back and learn actionable strategies to overcome them.

[00:00:29] Loree Philip: And achieve the success that you deserve. Let's dive in.

[00:00:34] Loree Philip: Rosie is the driving force behind no woman left behind initiative dedicated to empowering women in the corporate world. As a certified high performance coach with over three decades of corporate leadership experience.

[00:00:50] Loree Philip: Rosie offers a wealth of knowledge through her personalized coaching, the No Woman Left Behind podcast, and her role as a contributing author [00:01:00] to engaging speakers voices of truth. Rosie is committed to creating a more empowered society by empower inspiring women to embrace their power and brilliance.

[00:01:10] Loree Philip: Welcome to the show, Rosie.

[00:01:13] Rosie Zilinskas: Thank you so much, Lori. I'm excited to talk about empowering women in their career today.

[00:01:19] Loree Philip: I love this topic so much and I, I'm so excited to talk to you today and I'd love to get started with you around what were you doing before you were doing all of this important work empowering and supporting women and what was it that caused you to decide to shift?

[00:01:40] Rosie Zilinskas: I was an executive vice president for a property and casualty insurance company. It was a very large global insurance company and. As an executive vice president, I was part of the learning and development team. So I was leading the underwriting team. And during my tenure, I noticed that [00:02:00] some of the younger women that we were hiring in didn't quite have the confidence to advocate for themselves.

[00:02:08] Rosie Zilinskas: So, as we, as the years went on, I noticed that. Women needed to kind of be pulled aside and I would have a conversation with them. And then I kind of thought back to my own personal career. I was 40 years old and I remember sitting at my own desk thinking, okay, any day now, someone's going to come and hand me a promotion because at the time I was a high performer and I was doing all the things that I needed to be doing, but I didn't do one thing, which was.

[00:02:41] Rosie Zilinskas: Ask for the consideration to be promoted into the leadership team. And once I did that. Within six months, I was a manager and then probably three years into that position, I started campaigning for myself. So I did it very [00:03:00] differently. And when I was the executive vice president, I knew that I needed to contribute, give back.

[00:03:07] Rosie Zilinskas: And it all started very Subtle Laurie, it wasn't like I was, I just said one day I'm going to become an entrepreneur. It was, I'm going to start volunteering so I volunteered for organizations address for success. It was one organization that I volunteered for and they evolved little by little, but it was, it wasn't even a decision.

[00:03:29] Rosie Zilinskas: It was almost kind of like I was pushed towards the work that I'm doing today. So that's a little bit about my story.

[00:03:37] Loree Philip: Yeah, thank you for sharing that, Rosie. I think this is often what we hear when we talk to people and even with my own, with myself and my own journey is it's never a. All of a sudden change, right?

[00:03:54] Loree Philip: It is a slow incremental, either curiosity, [00:04:00] a question that starts popping up in our inner voice of like, what else could I be doing? Or am I meant for more? What do I love? These types of things. And if we start to choose to listen to it and kind of navigate that way, we can see how it unfolds and you don't really need to know right off the bat.

[00:04:20] Loree Philip: It's like. When you made that decision to sort of just start volunteering, you had no idea that years down the line you would be doing no woman left behind and all this work, right? Yes. Not

[00:04:32] Rosie Zilinskas: at all. And, and so my kids were at the time they were about 16 and 18 or so, and Teenagers at that time, they want nothing to do with you.

[00:04:42] Rosie Zilinskas: So my husband travels a lot for work. So I found myself with more time and I was like, okay, I'll just start doing this. And, and you're absolutely right. It's not, it wasn't a decision. It was a very slow evolution and it's taken. Quite like 2 [00:05:00] or 3 years to get to where I am today, but like you said, I never imagined in a 1, 000, 000 years that I would be doing the work that I'm doing today.

[00:05:09] Loree Philip: That's so cool. There was a point, though, when you had to decide to leave. Your corporate role, right? And, for most of us, that decision is not taken lightly and there's a lot of doubts that pop up, fears, like, am I doing the right thing? Like, can you talk through that process for you to share with our audience?

[00:05:37] Loree Philip: Like did you just know this was right for you and you did it or did you have some doubts that you had to work through?

[00:05:44] Rosie Zilinskas: Well, first of all, Laurie, and I've listened to some of your podcast, so I know that the whole thing of like putting things out into the universe and I had been there.

[00:05:56] Rosie Zilinskas: Surrendering to God, the universe, whatever you [00:06:00] want to call it, and I got laid off in September of last year. And it was the perfect timing. It was I left with a severance package and it was, definitely divine intervention because I was struggling at the time with the decision of like, okay, I'm going to wait till the end of the year.

[00:06:24] Rosie Zilinskas: And then that's it. I'm done because I had been talking about leaving the corporate world or transitioning at some point and every year. I'm like, is this a year? Is this a year? And the decision was not even mine. They made the decision for me. So it was, it was a no brainer at that point.

[00:06:41] Loree Philip: I'm so glad you shared that story because it's so interesting.

[00:06:46] Loree Philip: I have not spoken to a single person that had a door shut where years later, or even quickly, they didn't look back on that and think that was a blessing in disguise, that I needed a change and I wasn't [00:07:00] doing it on my own. And so. The door shut and I had to adapt. I had to get ready. I had to move it was out of your hands at that point.

[00:07:10] Loree Philip: And so if, if there are people out there that are going through some big changes, I mean, they're the more people I'm talking to lately, very successful and high performing people are getting laid off right now. And. It can hurt your ego. It can hurt your emotionally sting because especially if you're not ready, you don't have something else to look forward to to do and you're, you're struggling.

[00:07:40] Loree Philip: But, once you can get through that emotional shift and kind of let it go a bit and then start looking forward with purpose. And wow, what, what can I do now? Now? I don't have like the golden handcuffs anymore. I can choose. I can decide. I could go get another corporate job, or maybe I could Do that dream that I've been [00:08:00] putting off to the side of writing a book or starting a business or whatever it is that you want to do.

[00:08:04] Loree Philip: So I'm happy for you if you feel like it was the right time and severance package and everything. Good for you. I love that. Well, we're going to shift gears, Rosie, and I'd love to talk with you about the three things. That we often sabotage ourself in our career and what are you noticing around? Okay.

[00:08:28] Loree Philip: So what, what are these 3 sab sab tours? Yes.

[00:08:32] Rosie Zilinskas: So the 1st 1 and you kind of mentioned it a little bit already. The 1st 1 is that we don't believe that we're worthy. Or deserving of the career of our dreams. And, and actually this was a perfect time to talk about Jamie Kern Lima. She is the founder of IT Cosmetics and she started her business like 20 years ago.

[00:08:54] Rosie Zilinskas: She got rejected a million times and then she ended up [00:09:00] selling her. It cosmetics business to L'Oreal for 1. 2 billion. And so she wrote a book that's called worthy and she, it was just released in February of this year. And one of the things, the thing that I love about this book is that visually you can differentiate between self worth and self confidence.

[00:09:21] Rosie Zilinskas: And so the way she explains it is. Think of a house and the foundation of the house, the concrete with the rebar. Reinforce reinforcement as self worth and then the house goes on top of the foundation and the house it has obviously windows and doors and all this stuff. That's the self confidence.

[00:09:44] Rosie Zilinskas: So the self confidence is more external and the foundation is more internal. So what you just said as far as. Not feeling that you're worthy or deserving. If someone gives you any kind of criticism, or if you get laid [00:10:00] off, or if you don't get the job of your dreams, think of that as someone throwing a rock through the window.

[00:10:07] Rosie Zilinskas: And then shattering the window. And then it's up to you to go to that window and patch it up, replace it, put a new window, and that's kind of what you have to think of as your self confidence. Yes. Things externally in the world are going to happen to you, but it's up to you to go and patch that. That wound or that hurt or that so that it heals and the way that shows up the lack of not knowing that you're deserving or not feeling that you're worthy.

[00:10:39] Rosie Zilinskas: It shows up in different ways, such as the common imposter syndrome, but the big thing that's really easy to do is. Not apply for a job because you don't have all of the job qualifications and everybody has heard the old statistic about HP [00:11:00] identifying that men would apply for their jobs, having 50 percent of the skills.

[00:11:03] Rosie Zilinskas: And then women would wait till we have 100 percent of the skills. So, I think, that's a really good concrete example that I say, when you are interested in a job, apply for it anyway and let someone else make the decision that you don't qualify. So, overall, that's one of the main reasons or the first saboteur that we have that we don't feel worthy or deserving of success.

[00:11:31] Loree Philip: I resonate with this so much, Rosie. I love, I love the metaphor too, because if you think about the, the base of your home being that worthiness or that self worth and then the confidence is the house, That worthiness is the foundation of that house. That's where you start. That's where you build those strong and deep roots so that when something comes by and somebody throws a rock in the [00:12:00] window, the whole thing doesn't come crashing down.

[00:12:03] Rosie Zilinskas: Exactly.

[00:12:04] Loree Philip: Just the window and then you can go and patch it up. And I, what a great example. And sometimes we forget that it's, it is. That these types of things that are holding us back and I'll give you an example. I, it could be that you're not noticing that you don't feel like you deserve it or worthy of it or, but you'll see yourself self selecting out, like you mentioned, not applying, not putting your name in the hat, questioning if you're ready.

[00:12:38] Loree Philip: Oh, well, the reality is that. Even with a new position, nobody has done that exact position before. Like the, the people that have say the, the qualifications still have to go in and learn that specific team, learn that specific role, it's going to be new for just about anybody. [00:13:00] And so when we can take it upon ourselves and decide.

[00:13:04] Loree Philip: That we are worthy of success.

[00:13:07] Rosie Zilinskas: Yes.

[00:13:07] Loree Philip: And I don't know if you, if you had listened to this episode, Rosie, but there was a point for me when I was doing my work and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my career that it came up very strongly that I did not feel deserving of more than what I already had.

[00:13:26] Loree Philip: Because I had already. Successful career on paper, a beautiful salary, a nice, fancy house, a beautiful family. Who was I to say, you know what, this isn't good enough for me anymore. I'm going to just let this go and start from scratch and follow my dreams. Like who am I to do that? Like I, so, so it was, it took me a while to get past that because what I can tell people is that.

[00:13:56] Loree Philip: You do deserve success, and if you, if you feel like you [00:14:00] want something, it's worth exploring at least a little bit, it really is, and so now I can look at it and say, you know what, I'm giving others permission to consider it for themselves, to find the courage to listen to what they do want.

[00:14:13] Rosie Zilinskas: Absolutely, and I'll say just 1 other quick thing about the tour is that by the time you get to that 100 percent of having the skills 2 things happen 1, like, you just said, you're overqualified and then to the jobs already gone because people are applying for jobs much quicker.

[00:14:32] Rosie Zilinskas: And then the, the last thing is that. You don't need to acquire more and more certifications. You are ready as you are. And don't think that I guess the message here is embrace the expertise that you already have.

[00:14:47] Loree Philip: Yeah, and the only thing I would add to that, those are beautiful comments on on this particular saboteur is that there is a piece of all of us that can be embraced.

[00:14:59] Loree Philip: That's new and [00:15:00] different and diverse. That you can bring to the table that others can't. And it's that like the diversity of thought, the diversity of experience that could breathe new life into a role that maybe the hiring manager hadn't seen before. But find those nuggets in what you already have and.

[00:15:20] Loree Philip: Position them in such a way on how it would be a great fit for this role. And you'd, you'd be surprised how people, Oh, you know what, you're right. We do need somebody on our team like that, or has that experience. We don't already have that. And so it, it definitely is worth giving it a shot and also this.

[00:15:38] Loree Philip: This discussion around letting others be the one to say yes or no. And don't self select out, don't decide no before you even have a chance all of the things that we tend to do as, as people and women, as we navigate our careers. Yep, for sure.

[00:15:55] Rosie Zilinskas: So the saboteur number 2 is that you're operating under a [00:16:00] fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset and I'll explain this and Carol Dweck's book is very prominent as mindset by Carol Dweck, but I'll explain this with a story.

[00:16:12] Rosie Zilinskas: So one of my clients was getting negative feedback about the customer service that they were providing. The manager asked them to come in to talk about feedback, and this person was already kind of put off, put out by the time they got to the conversation with the manager. So the manager gave them some feedback, two or three things that they needed to work on.

[00:16:35] Rosie Zilinskas: And this person, instead of listening to the feedback, they were upset. They were already angry because they got called in. They weren't open to really understanding what it was that they were doing. And they walked out of that meeting and it was, did not go well at all. We started working together. We talked about why they were in the position they were in.

[00:16:59] Rosie Zilinskas: And it [00:17:00] was so interesting because they were in customer service and it was almost like they hadn't realized that they were in customer service. So by our conversations, I'm like, listen People are calling you because they need something from you. Not because, Hey how am I, how can I make Beth upset?

[00:17:15] Rosie Zilinskas: For example, and so. After we had the conversation and we kind of talked about a few things regarding the fixed mindset and the growth mindset, the individual went and asked for the meeting with the manager again, and they were like, can I, can we do a redo? And this time they went in completely different.

[00:17:37] Rosie Zilinskas: Persona because they were able to listen to the feedback they were able to receive the feedback and the biggest thing is that they were able to apply for the feedback, the feedback. So, every time someone gives you that constructive criticism again, it might sting a little bit because we're all human beings and we have emotions, [00:18:00] but it's a little golden nugget of.

[00:18:04] Rosie Zilinskas: A gift, an action item, a thing that you can use to improve your skills. So, Shifting your fixed mindset, which is you're closed off, and you're just not willing to hear and listen and understand to someone that you're open to suggestions. You are going to apply the information just making that subtle shift, which it isn't very difficult to do, but you do need to be aware that you are operating under a fixed mindset and be able to shift it to operating with a growth mindset.

[00:18:39] Loree Philip: Yeah, what a beautiful example, and it's encouraging to hear that that person was able to completely do a 180 and flip it around and, really start over with that conversation and this, this deepens the conversation about growth mindset, [00:19:00] because We are all growing and we always have opportunities to pick ourselves up after maybe we fall flat in our face.

[00:19:09] Loree Philip: And people are open a lot of the time to that kind of vulnerability and saying, you know what, I, I was upset and I didn't hear your feedback, but now I'm ready to hear it and to be okay with that. You, it will probably sting. And so when I was in corporate, I remember getting upset with managers for, for not giving me feedback.

[00:19:36] Loree Philip: Like, Oh, everything's great. Just keep doing what you're doing. And like, gosh, I would really love some feedback. And then I got a new manager who gave me feedback and I was upset. I was like, you don't even know me. Like so there, there is this. Our, our ego doesn't like to hear that maybe we're not [00:20:00] doing something as well as we could be doing, but there's so much opportunity for growth when you're willing to listen.

[00:20:05] Loree Philip: Absolutely. So, Rosie, what's the third saboteur? So

[00:20:09] Rosie Zilinskas: the third saboteur is that you are essentially. Leaving your career on autopilot, meaning that you're not really paying attention to it. It's just kind of, you're just hoping that things will work out so you don't have a focused strategy. And the focus strategy actually delves into a few things.

[00:20:32] Rosie Zilinskas: The main thing is you need to have a custom career. And whether you call it custom career roadmap or goals or anything like that. The custom career roadmap, though, goes deeper than just having goals. So, goals are great, but if you don't attach your goals to desires, like what do you really want in your life, [00:21:00] and then support that with routines and tasks, then you just have a to do list.

[00:21:05] Rosie Zilinskas: And the to do list could just be two or three random things, and you think you're working on your career, but But you're not. So having that overall custom career roadmap, it's really, really important because again, you need to be intentional about your career. I always tell my clients that they need to have at least two hours a month where they just work on their career because if they don't Make it like a scheduled meeting for themselves.

[00:21:36] Rosie Zilinskas: It's never going to happen and then years can go by with you being in the same position, not having conversations about your career again kind of, like you said, some managers don't want to take the time to really look for good feedback to help someone because. Everybody has something that they can develop.

[00:21:56] Rosie Zilinskas: So it's not like every everything is perfect, it's just they're not [00:22:00] taking the time to really give you some information. And one of the pieces of the Custom Career romance, so there's a lot of them, but I'm gonna talk about two pieces. So one of them is talk to three or FI three to five of your colleagues that you've worked with in the past and ask them two questions.

[00:22:18] Rosie Zilinskas: What do I do? Well. And what can I do better? And then the things that they tell you that you can do better, that's what you want to really focus on and develop. But you need to give them permission to be honest. You need to give them permission to say, I am working on my personal development, my professional development, and I really need you to be honest with me.

[00:22:38] Rosie Zilinskas: And when you give them that permission, they will give you more honest feedback. So, that's the one thing. And then the second thing is any time that you are going to talk to somebody, whether it's a senior manager, maybe you're interviewing for a new position, you have to create your story vault. And the story vault [00:23:00] is I tell my clients answer like 20 to 30 behavioral interview questions, and there's a million of those online and once you answer those, and it has to be like on a weekend when you're home and relax, and you're just watching TV and just physically answer them so that you actually have everyone answered and then from there, take the top 5 to 7 that you think are the biggest accomplishments and then turn them into a story.

[00:23:28] Rosie Zilinskas: And the way you turn them into a story is you highlight the problem, you highlight the consequence of the problem, and then how did you impact the solution. And if you can't figure out how to do that, use chat GPT, just like copy and paste the story that you wrote down and ask chat GPT to help you put it into that story format.

[00:23:47] Rosie Zilinskas: And That then you have your 5 to 7 stories that you are ready. All you have to do is kind of review the stories. And this is really good to do, like, before a networking event, especially before an [00:24:00] interview, because when you're in front of an interview, that's not the time to start thinking about what am I going to say?

[00:24:07] Rosie Zilinskas: What story am I going to bring forward? So. And there's a lot more that goes into the custom career roadmap, but I think that the point here is you need to be prepared for that next opportunity real estate, Lori, they always say location, location, location for me in career development.

[00:24:25] Rosie Zilinskas: It's preparation, preparation, preparation.

[00:24:27] Loree Philip: Yeah, and I, so the couple of things that you touched on as part of the career. Roadmap, career custom roadmap, I need to get the terminology right around understanding where there's some room for improvement from your colleagues. And so that's always sharpening your skills. I'm curious about your thoughts on I've heard this a couple of different ways to either really focus in on.

[00:24:53] Loree Philip: Really making your strength even stronger, like, those are the ones that really make you [00:25:00] shine versus spending a lot of time improving in areas that maybe is not your strong suit. What are your thoughts on, on, on that and where we should focus our effort the most?

[00:25:10] Rosie Zilinskas: Well, I'm going to give the standard answer that people don't like, it depends.

[00:25:14] Rosie Zilinskas: So it depends on the type of job that and the skills that you need for that particular job So whatever the skills are that you are looking to Use in the job that you're either, you know in right now and you're wanting to get promoted in or get a new position Whatever the skills to that job Are that you need those are the skills that you should focus on.

[00:25:38] Rosie Zilinskas: So if someone is telling you you're really great at communication. Well you're probably not going to focus on it as much because you communicate well already. But if you're going into an accounting role, and they're telling you that you need. A tax class or whatever, then yes, you, you need to go and do the class or whatever certification you need for that [00:26:00] particular job.

[00:26:00] Rosie Zilinskas: So it just depends if the skills that you need to develop are not critical or important to the job, then there's really no reason to develop those skills.

[00:26:10] Loree Philip: Yeah. And so, so this is, this is great because I think the, obviously the it depends answer is so relevant in so many situations, but in order for you to really, so we could focus our energy on so many things.

[00:26:25] Loree Philip: And every day where we don't even have a chance to do anything else. So part of the name of the game is prioritization, right? And so it makes total sense to me that in order to understand which skills that we want to start working on is to. To marry it up between what people say and where I want to go.

[00:26:47] Loree Philip: But you have to know where you want to go to know what skills are required. And so that's part of being prepared and understanding what that next move is for you and the next two moves it is for you. So that you can prioritize [00:27:00] your focus on your development to ensure that you're ready to apply and apply anyway, even if you don't think you're ready and then, And then have all of those stories.

[00:27:14] Loree Philip: Ready to go to showcase your leadership showcase your whatever it is that the qualifications say that that that are required.

[00:27:23] Rosie Zilinskas: Yes, and so part of what you said so the custom career road map falls into 4 categories. So aspire, which is kind of what you just said, and I kind of alluded to it is like, what are your desires?

[00:27:34] Rosie Zilinskas: Why? What type of job do you want to do? Then getting assessment is the skills getting advice is talking to your colleagues. And then the last piece to to this Broad math is advertised and what I mean by that is you need to, and that's the mistake that I made when I was 40. I was already ready to step into management position, but I didn't tell anybody.

[00:27:59] Rosie Zilinskas: I [00:28:00] didn't verbally say it. And when I finally said it to an executive, they're like, oh, really? And I'm like, yes, what do you mean? Oh, really? And they're like, well, you never said anything. I was like, oh, my God, how could I have not ever said anything before? And. You cannot just assume that people will notice your hard work like I did once I, so once I was in management and then the net for my executive vice president job, I started campaigning for me.

[00:28:27] Rosie Zilinskas: So I started talking to as many leaders as I could, and I, I asked him kind of like a dual thing. How did you get to where you are? And what, what advice can you give for me specifically? And then. Once I started, once again, I put it out there in the universe, but I prepared, prepared, prepared. I mean, I had my sister interview me.

[00:28:50] Rosie Zilinskas: My brother in law interview me. I worked on my resume, did all my skills. I did my elevator pitch. I the [00:29:00] 1 thing that I will say that I think was a big differentiator for me, when I interviewed for the position, I provided a succession plan for the person that would step into my position.

[00:29:10] Rosie Zilinskas: And I also provided a 100 day plan, like, what would I do in my 1st, 100 day plan or when I got the position? And I think those are 2 big differentiators, especially if you're saying the same is in the same company. Again, preparation, preparation, preparation. That's what I think is a big differentiator between the person that is ready and the person or the person that is hired and the person that is not hired.

[00:29:35] Loree Philip: Yeah, and I want to go back to what you talked about when we started talking about the saboteur, and I think one of the assumptions. That we're making is that we don't have enough time to be prepared and you were talking about four hours a month. And when you said that I broke it down into four weeks, 30 minutes a week, 30 minutes a week, and it, [00:30:00] how do we, how do you recommend that we.

[00:30:04] Loree Philip: Schedule those 30 minutes and not just blow it off because I've been one to say, Oh, I'm going to do this. I put it on my calendar because people are like, you don't put it on your calendar. It doesn't happen. I'll tell you what, if you put it on your calendar and it's just you, it might also not happen. What is your recommendation to kind of get us incentivized to actually take those 30 minutes and focus in on our career growth?

[00:30:26] Rosie Zilinskas: Well, as a certified high performance coach, I'm going to kind of pull from integrity. And the, the question that I have for you is why is it okay to break a promise to yourself and what is it costing you? So, 30 minutes is not a lot of time. You can block it and you can put on their mandatory meeting for yourself.

[00:30:54] Rosie Zilinskas: And again, the biggest takeaway there is, what is it costing you [00:31:00] every time that you break a promise to yourself? And that's what you really need to reflect on because this could be thousands and thousands of dollars that it could be costing you if you don't focus on your career, if you don't, If you aren't intentional with your, with your plan, with your custom career roadmap, and you don't get the promotion, or it takes you 3 or 4 extra years to get that raised, that could be money that you could be using to take care of yourself, take care of your family, investing, whatever the situation is.

[00:31:39] Rosie Zilinskas: So, it. Literally is it could be thousands and thousands of dollars that it could be costing you and also I just want to share the statistic with you. I once read that over a career lifetime of a woman from the time that they start their career, if they don't start [00:32:00] negotiating, it could cost them up to a difference of.

[00:32:03] Rosie Zilinskas: 2 million from a male that was negotiating from the very beginning. Now that's with investments and things like that, but. There's proof that it costs us up to two million dollars over our career if we don't start negotiating from the very beginning. So there's concrete information that it is truly costing us, not only dollars, but time, energy, effort, recognition whatever else you're looking for.

[00:32:32] Loree Philip: And when you say negotiation, you're talking about negotiating or salaries or permission positioning for promotions and things like that. Is that what that is?

[00:32:43] Rosie Zilinskas: So, yes, it could be that, but it's also what kind of influence do you have on people around you? What kind of persuasion are you using to To get people to agree with you with whatever it is that you're trying to do.

[00:32:59] Rosie Zilinskas: And [00:33:00] obviously when, when I say influence and persuasion, it's always for the positive, not for the negative or not trying to con anybody. But definitely you have goals. You're trying to negotiate different things and it's what, what tools are you using? So people always think like, oh, my gosh, negotiating.

[00:33:19] Rosie Zilinskas: It's just so scary. But really, it's. What influence, what persuasion are you bringing to the table to get people to agree? Whether they agree with you or not, how are you showing up? How are you presenting yourself so that you can negotiate successfully?

[00:33:35] Loree Philip: Okay, I understand now. And I, I want, I'll go back to a point earlier that we were talking about, is that you have to know what success looks like.

[00:33:43] Loree Philip: In order to know how to negotiate it successfully for you, and so it goes back to the spire piece or the understanding what you want, and just quickly to go back to our discussion on integrity, I think what what [00:34:00] happens to a lot of people is that. We have these types of things that we've deemed to be, we can buy in that they're important, but they're low urgency.

[00:34:12] Loree Philip: And there are a lot of people, including myself, that can thrive on urgency. Like I have a deadline, or have somebody telling me, okay, this has to get done. From, Your perspective as a high performance coach, are there methods that we can use to increase urgency? Does it mostly go back to really understanding what it's costing you and tying it back to your goals and in reinforcing what you really want?

[00:34:42] Loree Philip: Yes,

[00:34:42] Rosie Zilinskas: and the way it It kind of works is so when I talk about head performance coach, there's different themes that we talk about 1 of them being clarity. So, when we, when I work with my clients, and we talk about clarity, we come up with 9 words, [00:35:00] 9 incredible, amazing words, and we kind of workshop them together so that those 9 words are going to be where you're coming from your goal.

[00:35:09] Rosie Zilinskas: Best self. Anytime that you're struggling with something, you always go to your clarity chart and you look at them, you review them. And then the second piece to them is how do you bring energy? How do you bring energy to yourself so that you can make sure that during that half hour, every week you work on your career.

[00:35:30] Rosie Zilinskas: So yes, there are methods. There are techniques that we use so that you can. Pull from that integrity and say, okay, I'm lost. I don't know what to do. Go back to your clarity chart. Look at your words and then you can bring energy and and you can bring energy by Putting on a really cool song that you love, you know something that you love to do.

[00:35:50] Rosie Zilinskas: Sometimes I have Dance parties between here and the kitchen just like little things like that, that really help you get your energy because if you're not feeling [00:36:00] it, if you're in a slump, that's okay, but you can generate energy on your own so that you are with an integrity and make your deadline for that timeframe that you set aside to work on your career.

[00:36:12] Loree Philip: Yeah, and I, I love that. And actually, before we jumped on this call, I went outside and took my socks off and put them in the grass and grounded a bit and, and took a few breaths, had some water and then came back in. Right? Because I had just back to back to back. I told you about my morning. It was just like call after call.

[00:36:31] Loree Philip: And That did help me to recharge and bring in more of an energy and a focused energy. And when we go back to the discussion on integrity, and I've been thinking about this a lot for myself, because I am the type of person that will, you asked me for something, Rosie, and I will go climb Mount Everest to make sure I get it to you by the time I said I would.

[00:36:55] Loree Philip: And, I want to be able to do that for [00:37:00] myself, and I continuously I'm looking at ways to finish things. I say, I'm going to finish when I said I was going to finish them because the, the deadlines are a little looser when we decide to set them versus when somebody else decides to set them. So I appreciate your, your perspective on all of that and how we can start to hone that in for, for ourselves.

[00:37:23] Rosie Zilinskas: So, I guess, kind of putting my high performance coach hat on. I'm going to ask you, why do you think It's okay to break your own deadline versus somebody's deadline.

[00:37:39] Loree Philip: I think for me, it's mostly around, like it's, it's almost like I'm not breaking it, but I'm renegotiating it with myself.

[00:37:47] Loree Philip: It's like this trick that we, Oh, okay. Well I, I, we have a few more minutes left. I didn't get to this. I'll get to it tomorrow. Right. And so I think that's where. It becomes okay for me [00:38:00] and I tend to get things done. It's just a matter of, it would be, it would be great to cultivate that urgency. On most days and I'll let things slide and

[00:38:12] Rosie Zilinskas: we do see a lot that so part of being a high performer is for you to be able to be accountable to yourself and not be accountable to us.

[00:38:21] Rosie Zilinskas: Because like you said, you, you will deliver on everybody else's deadline. But why is your deadline any less important than everybody else's deadline? So, a deadline's a deadline. So, there's something in your thought process that you're like this isn't really as important. So, again, What is that costing you to yourself when you're like, eh, you're not as important as everybody else.

[00:38:49] Rosie Zilinskas: So you're not putting yourself first. You're, you're saying no to yourself and yes to everybody else. And really, we want to be saying yes to [00:39:00] ourselves first within reason because we all have children and family and things like that. But that's what I would say to that. It's. Your deadlines are just as important as everybody else's deadlines and my goal is to get one of my clients to be accountable to themselves and not need that external accountability to be with integrity with themselves.

[00:39:25] Loree Philip: Yeah, and it is, I think, a topic within itself because where I see this the most with people is around self care. And taking time for themselves to care for themselves to do like all of the things. And for me, I think before we close out, because I know we're going to start to close out, for me, it's about, I want to stop creating so many commitments.

[00:39:55] Loree Philip: And only create the commitments that I am at a position to [00:40:00] really say I'm committed to this and I'm going to get it done. And I think that will be helpful to focus in my energy on completing things instead of having it spread out so thin where there's a lot of projects going on. But. They're not moving as fast because they're happening all at the same time.

[00:40:19] Loree Philip: okay, Rosie, we've got to start to close out this conversation.

[00:40:22] Loree Philip: I feel like I could talk to you for hours. Can you share with our audience where they can connect with you, learn more about you and your work? Yes.

[00:40:30] Rosie Zilinskas: The easiest way would be to go to my website, which is no woman left behind. com. And I'm also readily available on LinkedIn. So LinkedIn is kind of where I live.

[00:40:40] Rosie Zilinskas: I have stuff on the other social media, but it's primarily LinkedIn and my website. Perfect.

[00:40:45] Loree Philip: Well, I appreciate you coming in with all of your insights and perspectives and bringing this conversation forward. Thank you so much. Thank you

[00:40:53] Rosie Zilinskas: so much, Leah. This was fun.

[00:40:55] Loree Philip: Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you've enjoyed [00:41:00] it, I would love for you to subscribe. If you're already a subscriber, don't forget to share the podcast with a friend.

[00:41:07] Loree Philip: Make sure to tune in next week. We will be speaking with Stacey Olson about the secrets to having a balanced and bold life and career. I hope you have an amazing week. It's your time to shine. Bye.