#46 – Reframing Failure: How to See Setbacks As Stepping Stones to Success & Let Go of Perfectionism So That You Can Soar | Empowerment & Career Advice

[00:00:00] ​ hi, and welcome to the Daring to Leap podcast. I'm your host, Loree Philip. I'm so excited to dive into this week's episode with you. How would your life change if you saw failure? Not as an end. But as a crucial part of your journey to success. Would you be willing to take more risks and go for what you really want? Today we are flipping failure on its head in our conversation.

[00:00:27] You will learn how our guest Amy Singleton came back from hitting rock bottom. How you can shift your mindset about failure. Let go of perfectionism and take more risks. So that you can soar. Let's dive in.

[00:00:45] Loree Philip: We have a special guest on the podcast today. Amy Singleton is here. Amy is an entrepreneur who originally was a registered nurse. Amy's own health forced her out of a career that she loved.

[00:00:59] Loree Philip: [00:01:00] Looking for purpose in all the wrong places, she wound up alone and desperately suicidal. Amy now dedicates her life to helping others see hope and purpose beyond their own failures. Whether we've failed ourselves, been failed by others, or have been failed by our own bodies, there is hope ahead when we cut through the BS and dig into living our most authentic lives.

[00:01:26] Loree Philip: Welcome to the podcast, Amy.

[00:01:29] Amy Singleton: Thank you. Thank you for having me, Lori. I'm very happy to be here.

[00:01:33] Loree Philip: I'm so excited that you're here and I'm so intrigued by your story. And so I think that's where I really want to start off with sharing a bit about your background and you loved your career at a nurse. And can you walk us through what happened?

[00:01:48] Loree Philip: Why did you have to let that go?

[00:01:50] Amy Singleton: Well. My body failed me. That is the very short version of that. But so without a lot of backstory, I started to have a lot of [00:02:00] very strange symptoms. They weren't sure what was going on with me. I ended up in a wheelchair and living back home with my parents. I was diagnosed with a rheumatoid arthritis.

[00:02:09] Amy Singleton: I had had cancer, then I broke my back, then I had this whole host of funky symptoms happen, and ultimately what we found out was that I have lupus, I have rheumatoid arthritis, and just about every other whatever, autoimmune disease that you can think of nowadays. I've had that. I have that. so it was a really difficult physical decision I had to make, but I physically couldn't do it anymore.

[00:02:33] Loree Philip: Wow. And so it sounds did that all happen so fast? It hit you and then you were going through all these tests or was that a kind of an overtime process? It's a

[00:02:43] Amy Singleton: years long process, but they figured it out. Yeah. And of course there's a whole lot of depression and other, and a divorce and a bunch of other stuff that happened during that time.

[00:02:53] Amy Singleton: Weight loss surgery, so much happened during that time, but no, so I, I was originally [00:03:00] CBOR nurse. So I did cardiothoracic surgeries, open heart surgeries, basically that bypass heart bypass surgeries and valve replacements, things like that lung surgeries. So it was a very physically demanding, very mentally challenging, physically demanding job.

[00:03:16] Amy Singleton: And as my health declined, I tried to take little steps back. So I went and I worked for a cardiologist. I was his rounding nurse. And I went and after that got to be too much, then I went and I ran what they call the Coumadin clinic, which is just a, a more stationary type position where I'm doing blood testing all day.

[00:03:32] Amy Singleton: And, and ultimately I had to completely stop because it was just, it just got too bad. But I was going through lots and lots of testing and doctor's appointments and again, the divorce and weight loss and, and a new boyfriend and a miscarriage and cancer. And I mean, all this crap happened during that time, all of that at the same time.

[00:03:50] Amy Singleton: But ultimately I was very happy to have very blessed that I had invested in the disability insurance. So I had a little bit of an income. To [00:04:00] help. But then I ended up moving, I had to move back in with my parents. I was having to go to multiple times a week doctor's appointments and I really couldn't even walk or take care of myself for a good, good extended period of time.

[00:04:11] Loree Philip: When I was reading your bio, your brand. it, it, it inspires this idea of overcoming failure. And so I'm curious if all of this happened to you, your body failed. You had to move back in with your parents, divorce, miscarriage, all the stuff at the time. Did you see that as.

[00:04:35] Loree Philip: a failure for yourself or how are you feeling during that time?

[00:04:40] Amy Singleton: Like a complete and total victim. Like no one has ever been through this before. I'm the first woman whose husband ever turned gay on him after 20 years. I'm, I was the first, right? I was the only one. I was an Island and I was so sad and lonely and nobody understood me and, and I had no responsibility.

[00:04:57] Amy Singleton: None of it was my fault. No, [00:05:00] I, I lived in the hood. I lived in the victim hood for real. I couldn't see it as a failure. I just, I, I saw it as everything else is failing me. Everybody else is failing me. My body's failing me. I couldn't, at the time I just didn't have the capacity to understand what it took to take my responsibility and those things that were happening to me.

[00:05:22] Amy Singleton: So yeah, I just, I lived in the hood, in the victim hood for a good long time.

[00:05:25] Loree Philip: I've never heard of it said that way. That's, that's funny. you're an entrepreneur now and you have your own business. And how did you get from, presumably rock bottom in this place of victimhood and I mean, a lot of real things going on in

[00:05:46] Loree Philip: your life at the same time to and being able to start your own path. Doing something that you care about.

[00:05:53] Amy Singleton: Well, it was a combination of two things for me. One, and I get asked this question of how'd you go from here to [00:06:00] there? Well, a whole lot of this, but ultimately all of that was, it was one tiny step at a time.

[00:06:09] Amy Singleton: And when I say one step, I mean that step at first was stepping off of my couch and going into my kitchen to feed myself. Or off of my couch, going to the bathroom to wash my face or off of my couch to my mailbox. If I felt even really, really brave that day someone might see me, a person might people me are trying to talk to me.

[00:06:28] Amy Singleton: And that was scary because I was super depressed. So incrementally. One step at a time. And then other people. So for me, movement and connection is life. I cannot exist without either one. And I don't think anybody really can if they are honest with themselves. So it was some other people in my life that initially, It's just a friend, an acquaintance that I I had known from years ago but he saw me, I was feeling like I wanted to want to.

[00:06:58] Amy Singleton: So, because when I [00:07:00] was at the very depths of my depression, I didn't even want to want to, I was like, ah, no, everybody's better off without me. I should be dead. My kids don't need me. I'm, I'm this awful thing and awful person. I'm useless and worthless, but. I had started to feel a little bit brave.

[00:07:12] Amy Singleton: So as vague posting, what I call vague book, vague booking, I was like nobody understands me or just just some little statement way back when and this is years and years ago, but he reached out and he was like, the hell you're better than this. What are you doing? And I was like, no, I just can't, and one day he showed up at my door and he, come on, we're going to lunch. You're, you're no, no, I can't, I can't, you're, you're getting out of your house. And then he sat down for me and it was you're better than this. You, all those things that happened to you, you were the strongest person I knew five years ago.

[00:07:45] Amy Singleton: What the hell's going on with you now? You're, you have so much more to offer and give. And I couldn't see that in myself. So it took somebody else seeing that. And then that was just the catalyst. I started to get braver and braver and move more and more. And I got counseling and therapy and all of [00:08:00] the things that you need to kind of get plugged into, but, and, and people.

[00:08:04] Amy Singleton: So then eventually I met my now husband and partner who saw in me. Gratefully, way more than I could see in myself. So movement and people. That's how I started to take the steps.

[00:08:17] Loree Philip: Wow. I love, I, I know that you, you mentioned that you were all over the place in between and I find that kind of a process.

[00:08:29] Loree Philip: There's so much truth in that process. Like we see from the outside looking in somebody that is here now and where they were and they don't see the tiny steps along the way, just the big transformation and the boiling it down to two simple things that people can wrap their arms around being the movement and the connection.

[00:08:57] Loree Philip: I really love that. And as we think [00:09:00] about this topic that I want to start to bring into this conversation of failure and overcoming failure, and we really, if we, if we back up and we think about it at the surface level and each individual thinks about it in a different way, for you, it might be this huge thing.

[00:09:24] Loree Philip: My career is over. I'm unhealthy. I'm this. I'm that. And for another person, failure might be, I just, I just bombed that presentation and I feel terrible about it, or I missed practice with my kids today because I chose work and I felt guilty leaving, or so we have all of these various definitions of failure for ourselves.

[00:09:53] Loree Philip: So whatever they are. Big or small, there's still things that we need to [00:10:00] look at and try to overcome. And I mentioned this before when we were talking that for me, I was so risk adverse and comfortable. I didn't even try to do things that were hard because I worried about failing. So as we talk about failure, what...

[00:10:22] Loree Philip: Where do we start, really, Amy? For a person who is coming in, they're like, okay, I have these big career dreams and aspirations, but there's a lot of fear holding me back, the fear of failure. What are some of the things you think that, that that person should start to think about, do for themselves to kind of get out of that mindset?

[00:10:45] Amy Singleton: Well... The first thing is I knew what I was going to say until you added in that fear of failure, because to me, those are two completely separate. Okay. Let's separate them out and failure. Yeah. Fear is, is, is there, right? I get told [00:11:00] all the time. Oh, Amy, you're so fearless. No, I'm not. I am freaking terrified all the time, all the time.

[00:11:07] Amy Singleton: There's rarely a time that I take a stage or go on a podcast or give a presentation or talk to somebody new that I'm not scared in some which way. Now it gets easier and easier the more you repeat it. But first of all, if you want to overcome failure, you have to get Not over your fear, but get comfortable with fear.

[00:11:28] Amy Singleton: Understand that whatever you do, you're going to be doing it in fear. You're going to be uncomfortable. But you won't, you won't move forward unless you act beyond that fear and do it scared. And then the next time you do it, it'll be a little less scary. So, first of all, Know that fear is going to be there.

[00:11:46] Amy Singleton: And so the fear of anything, failure, or otherwise you have to know that, that everybody's afraid and we're all just acting in boldness beyond that, through that fear, with that fear, make fear your friend. And then the [00:12:00] other part of failure, God, there's so much to unpack there. And this is a 30 minute episode.

[00:12:04] Amy Singleton: So think about it. I would, I would assume that many of your listeners here are mothers and when our babies. Are learning to walk and they take they're cruising along the coffee table and they take that two, three steps and they fall down. Do you go, Oh my gosh, Brady. I can't believe you fell down.

[00:12:28] Amy Singleton: Or do you say, Oh, good job. Good try. Way to go. Oh my gosh. Get up again. Let's go. Yeah. What do you do? What do you do to your kid? The person you say you love the most, the one you live for, you're everything. You're why. Yes. If you're not willing to give yourself that same grace and others. and others that same grace, then what are we even doing here?

[00:12:50] Amy Singleton: We're going to fail. That's how we learn to walk. We can't go from laying on a couch to climbing the corporate ladder and nothing in between. There are going to be [00:13:00] failures, but understanding that failure is a cycle and every time. You, you fail, you have to get back up into that loop and try it again and try and reiterate it over and over and over.

[00:13:14] Amy Singleton: That's how we learn. And that's how one of my mentor, John Maxwell, who's leading a group right now, as we speak with my mastermind group says, we have to get a return on our failure. It's an investment, trying as an investment, it's hard, it's scary, but everything worth doing is uphill. That's the bottom line.

[00:13:31] Amy Singleton: It's not going to be easy and you're going to fail, but understanding that it's going to be a part of the process, preparing yourself and your team to know that we're going to fail and then differentiating every single time that happens. Is this a good failure or a bad failure? And what's the difference?

[00:13:47] Amy Singleton: A good failure gets me closer to my goal. A bad failure gets me further, moves me further away from that goal. And so if we can just continue to have a series of good failures over and over and over again, you will achieve [00:14:00] what you're after.

[00:14:02] Loree Philip: Yeah, I really liked that reframe, Amy. Because what I've, I've noticed now that having become an entrepreneur and really Trying to do a lot of things I've never done before.

[00:14:16] Loree Philip: And so this, this idea of failure really does come up because it's not, it's not like I'm gonna fall flat on my face, but there is so much to be learned through the act of trying that there's no way you would know unless you actually tried. And it's like, it's learning to ride a bike by reading the manual.

[00:14:42] Loree Philip: You cannot . No, you can't. Just can't read how to ride a bike, the book and then jump on the bike and be successful. You will fall off. Right. And I think that's, that's the gap, the experience gap that we have when we try to go do something we've never done [00:15:00] before. And so being able to evaluate it, and you brought in this idea of, what is okay from a failure perspective with your team and being open to that? And I've noticed, especially when I was in corporate and professional organizations that, um, sometimes the idea of failure just wasn't. Seen as something that was okay and so the result the result is that people aren't going to try people aren't going to stretch themselves and you're just going to get kind of a middle of the road results is that have you seen that.

[00:15:46] Amy Singleton: I mean, I, I came from corporate America, working for hospitals and big national brands to owning my own business and leading a team. And for me personally, I am a recovering people pleaser. [00:16:00] I am a recovering perfectionist. And so I think that our society, especially I don't know if it's especially my age, but especially people and women between the ages of 30 to 55 or 60, I think we're in a generation where perfection was expected from us.

[00:16:18] Amy Singleton: It wasn't even a negotiation. Amy was going to come home with straight A's. That's not, that's not negotiable. That is, that's what we do. That's what you do because you're capable. Right. We've been told we're capable. So we are perfectionists. We're people pleasers. I think that we overthink everything and over plan and over learn and try.

[00:16:38] Amy Singleton: We read that bicycle manual to the point that it's worn completely out like great grandma's Bible, but we never get on the bike because we're afraid of a leadership. And I think that, that this fully and solely rests on the shoulders of our leadership, not only in homes, but in, in the workplace.

[00:16:58] Loree Philip: Yeah.

[00:16:58] Loree Philip: And how do we, so I [00:17:00] can see this from two different perspectives. We can shift our mindset and thinking about failure for ourselves. That's within our control and in all the things that we can do whether it's in our home life, in our work, in our projects, and then there's this idea of shifting. Our team cultures around it leading and allowing more failure in your teams.

[00:17:28] Loree Philip: And as we parse that out. And we can start with for ourselves, because I love, I feel when we start there, that's the most empowering thing, because then we can't just point the finger and say, well, I'm not going to try because my team will just. Shoot the messenger when it doesn't work out.

[00:17:50] Loree Philip: And so what is it that we can start to do to shift our selves around failure [00:18:00] and, and allowing in a bit more?

[00:18:03] Amy Singleton: Well, for me, leadership comes from the front. I have to be willing, right? And that is another huge part of me and my brand and just my, who I am at the core is, Is leading and going first and being willing to be vulnerable, transparent and telling people.

[00:18:21] Amy Singleton: So setting an example that it's a safe place to fail. Hey guys going to your team. Hey guys, I tried this thing out. It definitely didn't work. Can I get some feedback from you guys? I think leadership is not used to asking for feedback, and we need it. We need to know what people think of what we're doing, how we're leading, what's working, what's not working.

[00:18:41] Amy Singleton: And being willing to share that first with our team is, is the most important thing we can do.

[00:18:48] Loree Philip: Earlier you mentioned perfectionism and I want to bring that back up because and people pleasing and all of those things when you said resonated with [00:19:00] me because I definitely and I still am, recovering people pleaser and for sure I get into perfectionism every time I turn around, I catch myself doing this and, it's almost like. When you come from a place of, it has to be perfect. Or, or you don't want to let anybody down. You're basically making that circle of what. Of what's possible for you really small because.

[00:19:33] Loree Philip: If you're gonna be always going to be good at something, you're kind of keeping in that comfort zone of what you've done before, what you've excelled at before and then maybe you're just pushing on the edges, but you're not making this big leap in capabilities. You're not really going for it. And, one of the things that I was thinking about when you were talking about perfectionism and [00:20:00] earlier when you were talking about.

[00:20:01] Loree Philip: Fear being separate and you're just gonna be, you're just gonna feel that way and I really like that because it's not only is it true, but there's, there's gotta be this way we can. Flip it on his head as being. A positive thing, because when we talk about, for example, imposter syndrome and not feeling secure, or like you're good enough, or you're capable enough, or you're, you've done it before, and there's that, that, that feeling and it's not positive.

[00:20:39] Loree Philip: And for me, when I see that, I'm like, you know what? Great job. Great job. You are uncomfortable because you're trying to do something outside of your comfort zone. You're at, you're reaching, you're going for it. And, maybe it's not, maybe we need to rename [00:21:00] failure is what kind of I'm coming around to because it sounds so bad.

[00:21:04] Loree Philip: But. The benefits of, really stretching yourself and going for something that could result in a setback or failure or not going 100 percent is worth it. And if you just hold back, you'll never get to experience that.

[00:21:23] Amy Singleton: Oh, yeah, you're absolutely right. I think that, yeah, I don't know if that, yeah, I think we should rename it. I like your idea. I don't know what we could name it too, but definitely. Recalibrating is kind of where, where I, my mind always goes to with a failure. If you think about it, once you get that momentum of a self guided missile, well, it's going to ding and ding and ding against all these barriers, but it's eventually going to go in the right direction, but you have to kind of.

[00:21:52] Amy Singleton: Self guide that so redirecting reinventing. I don't know what the word is, but I like that idea.

[00:21:57] Loree Philip: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if it's just the word because we keep saying [00:22:00] this word failure. And even when I say it, I'm kind of cringing. Nobody wants that. Nobody wants to quote be a failure. And maybe that's the next step that we need.

[00:22:11] Loree Philip: Let's talk about that a bit because. I think it's a mistake. We end up getting caught up in making the result our identity and not separated and say, you know what? I'm not a failure. I tried this and it didn't work out. And now I'm learning from it, but that's not a reflection on me. And, I mean, I've, I've been there where I've, I've definitely internalized that type of thing.

[00:22:41] Loree Philip: What is your experience with that? Internalization or what do you think about that?

[00:22:45] Amy Singleton: Man, I don't know that for me, I just had to, I don't know if this is helpful for anybody else, but I had to start talking out loud to myself. I had to start forgiving myself for some things like that happened a long, long, long time ago [00:23:00] and telling myself that I was learning and I was growing and I was developing and that was okay.

[00:23:03] Amy Singleton: I say, and that's okay a lot to myself. Going back to all the people pleasing and the, the, the childhood trauma or whatever you want to try and unpack, you have neural pathways that have just been going over and over and over and over in your mind so many times that you can't turn off that internal voice and that bitch is mean.

[00:23:24] Amy Singleton: I named her Shannon. I'm like, Shannon, shut up because she's just such a bitch. She doesn't ever quit talking. And so I have to physically speak out loud to myself and say You tried that. It didn't what you exactly what you said. You tried that. It didn't work. And that's okay.

[00:23:42] Amy Singleton: And now we're going to try this other thing. And, and that's okay. And you are enough. And let's look at the facts of the matter factually look at the objective facts of what happened. And then you can make a more informed decision about. Was that a failure? Was that a learning [00:24:00] experience? Is that an opportunity to do more?

[00:24:02] Amy Singleton: And, and it's a personal choice. Not everybody wants to go outside of their comfort zone that's, and that's okay. But for those that choose to take that leap of faith and try something new and different, you just never know what's going to happen until you quit studying the bike manual and jump on the freaking bike.

[00:24:20] Amy Singleton: And the next thing you know, you're on a motorcycle and it's just nonstop. And then at that point, when you have enough to do, I think lots of people think they're busy, but they don't have anything to do. Not really. So once you have some things to do and clients to work with or work jobs to do, or, or projects that are important to you that are moving you forward, you no longer have time for perfection.

[00:24:43] Amy Singleton: You're like. 80 20 rule. That's good. That's good. Ship it. This is good. Let's keep moving. Just keep moving because you know that the movement is your life. The movement is your growth. You don't make physical changes in the gym without moving your body. You don't make. Changes in your life or in your job or in your career or [00:25:00] in your family without moving you have to Decide and go in a direction and it might not always be the right one and it's okay I think this is another thing that that people it where I come from when you Make a choice you commit like that's you're loyal.

[00:25:17] Amy Singleton: You went to nursing school. You're a nurse. That's what you do You paid all the money you spend all the time. That's who you are. It's your identity. You're in this box now and Learning that it's okay to go, you know what, I'm going to pivot and then go somewhere else is a completely new concept to so many people.

[00:25:33] Amy Singleton: And I would just love to give permission to people right now that are listening to this that I don't care if you're 25, if you're, if you're 1920 in the middle of a college degree, 24 with a brand new degree or 42 with no degree, you can absolutely. Pivot, look a different direction and go that way.

[00:25:52] Amy Singleton: That's okay. You have that permission. Freaking girl, go get your life and do what you want to do. Don't stay committed or loyal to something that no [00:26:00] longer serves you. Yeah. Because what you're ultimately doing is robbing all of the people that need to hear your message and inspire hope and change in them.

[00:26:10] Amy Singleton: You're robbing those people from what you have to offer when you hold yourself back from growth.

[00:26:15] Loree Philip: Yeah. There's so much there. I was writing down notes cause I was like, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. I love this idea of movement and there's so much truth in that. In fact, I was going to show you my little sign here that I bought and it's.

[00:26:31] Loree Philip: If you could see it. Progress. Raise it up. Oh. Ah. There it is. Yeah. Progress, not perfection. That's it. And this is getting past the, the perfectionist. Person that we can be and it's, it goes back to, I think, all the years of programming of, okay, you, you go, you mentioned earlier, you go to school and you, you want to get an a on your test and there's a [00:27:00] specific certain way to make that happen.

[00:27:02] Loree Philip: And then you go work in a professional setting in corporate America or whatever it is that your job is in here are the here's the 500 page manual of how in rules regulations and constraints on how to do your job and there it is very easy to get caught up in that because that's how we were trained our whole lives.

[00:27:28] Loree Philip: It's to follow those particular rules. This is how you do it. This is how you're successful. And so to letting, letting that go is, is so, so hard because it is comfortable. It's so comfortable. And so when you mentioned movement, movement, movement, and I didn't quite understand that before. Start jumping into my own business because I love to learn.

[00:27:54] Loree Philip: So I like to take the class. I like to read the manual. I like to listen to the [00:28:00] expert talk about here's your, here's the five step process on how you can be successful. And then. The brakes hit, right? It's oh, I've got to go do

[00:28:10] Amy Singleton: it. Well, maybe I'll take another, maybe I'll take some private coaching on this.

[00:28:14] Amy Singleton: Or maybe I'll think about it for six months. Or maybe I'll read another book and get someone else's perspective. Yeah, no. Just move. Girl, go. Do. Do it.

[00:28:24] Loree Philip: Do it. Do it. And see what happens. What's interesting about it for me is that, um, whatever we decide to call that, whether it's failure, whether it's a setback, whether it's not right, the right direction, it's, the information is so, so important because then you can make that tweak and get into that right direction.

[00:28:47] Loree Philip: I think the worst is ignoring. The quote failure and putting the blinders on it and just like shoving it under the rug. That's probably the the only [00:29:00] reaction that's probably not going to serve you when something like that happens.

[00:29:07] Amy Singleton: We're always making decisions and not making, making a decision is also making a decision, right?

[00:29:12] Amy Singleton: It's making a decision to stay where you are and that's okay, but it's a decision. So know that you're not indecisive. You are absolutely making decisions. You're just choosing to not to.

[00:29:23] Loree Philip: Right, right. And this happens a lot too when we need, especially when that fear of failure comes up and we decide we need to know more before we decide.

[00:29:36] Loree Philip: Okay, I don't have enough information to make the call, so I'm not going to choose. And there is an opportunity cost to that because you're actually deciding not to move and something might come in. And you might miss that chance to do what you wanted to do because you were holding back.

[00:29:57] Loree Philip: So I think where I want to go from here, Amy, [00:30:00] is can you walk us through your recommendation if somebody just had a failure or setback and they're kind of, a little bit down on themselves and they're wondering, okay, now, what do I do? Maybe they lost a job. Maybe they bombed on a project or, or presentation, or maybe they didn't get that client they wanted or whatever it was and now they have this opportunity.

[00:30:29] Loree Philip: To come up from here, where should they go? How should they kind of approach that?

[00:30:36] Amy Singleton: We could I really think that looking at the facts of what's really happening, um, is very important. I was actually listening to the Mel Robbins podcast earlier today, and she said something about there's the two arrows that hit you, right? There's the news.

[00:30:54] Amy Singleton: And then there's the arrow we hit ourself in the head with so, Oh, I lost my job. What if I'm broke? [00:31:00] What if I never get another job? What if I'm not good enough? Why did they all these things that we tell ourselves after the fact, right? So look at the fact. And then, Oh, of course. I'm not, I'm not saying take action against all information.

[00:31:13] Amy Singleton: Of course, there is a, there is an extent of information you need to get before you can make an informed decision. But I know for me as an overthinker, people pleaser person, I would study to the nth degree before I actually took the action. So getting enough information to move forward and know that it's just going to be a try, right?

[00:31:32] Amy Singleton: This isn't what we're committing to forever. We're going to try something else and see, and maybe that's the word. It's a try. It's not a failure. It's a try. Everything we do is a try. And some of those tries move us closer to our goal. And some of those tries to move us further away from that goal.

[00:31:47] Amy Singleton: But you have to try something. And, and I think identifying your, they're in some people may think this is super woo woo, but whatever, identifying your purpose, why am I here? [00:32:00] What was I really called to do? Where was I really called to serve? Where can I impact the most people in in the, the community?

[00:32:07] Amy Singleton: Best way, whatever that means to you and then following and staying in alignment with those values will always move you in the right direction, whether it's vocationally or spiritually or familially or with relationships or whatever, but making sure that whatever you decide to take action on is absolutely in line with your values and your goals and your purpose will absolutely make those Tries easier and it will make the failures seem less and less and just know that, that it's okay to stop and start again and stop and start again.

[00:32:43] Amy Singleton: Because you have to try, you'll never know unless you do, you got to take a lot of shots out of it. Sometimes Michael Jordan will tell you he's not the best because he made the most shots. He's the best because he missed the most. He took the most shots. He took the most tries.

[00:32:57] Loree Philip: I love all that, Amy. [00:33:00] Also love Mel Robbins. I love you brought her into the conversation. She's Love you, Mel. Yeah. Come hang out with us, Mel. I know. She's, she's got so much good stuff you're so right. And I love this idea of. You bringing in our purpose and there's a saying that, sometimes that door closed because it wasn't right for you and you have a better path, a more aligned what was, what, what you deserve is more than that path that you were seeing.

[00:33:37] Loree Philip: So you might think that that's what you really needed, but it wasn't. And I've, I've experienced that myself. I had gone for a position. And should had all the qualifications and everything knew the team and it didn't work out. And there was this person that was even just if you could have written a perfect person for this [00:34:00] job resume, that person happened to be also going for the job and.

[00:34:06] Loree Philip: That door shut, but in retrospect, I was looking at it and I thought, you know what, I'm glad it did because I would have just stuck around doing something that really wasn't my calling. And, and it took that final kind of push to get me to decide to shift gears and try something else. And I think that's where, we can close out, Amy. I love that. Let's shift this idea of failure to it's a try. We're just trying. We have to give it a shot, see what happens, and it's okay if it doesn't turn out. And I love that. that you shared that with us. I think that's a really good reframe.

[00:34:53] Amy Singleton: I love that you use the bicycle reference.

[00:34:55] Amy Singleton: If you just keep a bicycle, if you get on the bicycle and you don't keep pedaling, you're [00:35:00] going to fall over, right? So that movement, just keeping on going, you'll eventually get somewhere. It might not be the prettiest bike ride, but you'll get somewhere. And then the other piece to that, the people and connection.

[00:35:11] Amy Singleton: Those are the ones that are going to come scoop you up when you fall off of that bike. So don't be afraid to share your leap with your friends and your family. And, and don't be surprised when those people change your friends when you make that leap, but surrounding yourself with people and movement.

[00:35:27] Amy Singleton: And just keeping going is what is going to get you to that Thanksgiving meal that God has waiting for you when you're clutching onto your peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because that's all you've ever known. You think that's the best thing in the world. There's a Thanksgiving spread waiting for you, but you just have to move and take that leap.

[00:35:44] Loree Philip: Hmm. Thank you for that. Amy, I appreciate you so much. If you could share with our audience how they might connect with you and learn more about you and your work.

[00:35:55] Amy Singleton: Absolutely. So all of my links are over at amysingleton. net. [00:36:00] There you can learn about my digital marketing agency, Hite Digital. We are a full service digital marketing agency.

[00:36:07] Amy Singleton: I have a podcast called the Queen's Lead podcast. And so you can connect with me there if you'd like to be my guest on Queen's Lead or also hire me for public speaking engagements in marketing and or personal development.

[00:36:19] Loree Philip: Great. Thank you so much, Amy. I really appreciate you. Thanks for being vulnerable, sharing your story and bringing a different perspective on failure today.

[00:36:31] Amy Singleton: Absolutely. Thank you so much, Lori. I appreciate

[00:36:33] Loree Philip: you.

[00:36:33] Loree Philip: Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you've enjoyed it, I would love for you to subscribe. If you're already a subscriber, don't forget to share the podcast with a friend. Hope you all have an amazing week. Until next time. Bye.